Doll Survival Game - Chapter 125
Luo Yiran now couldn’t distinguish what truly belonged to his own emotions.
Qiu Xia’s death pushed these emotions to a peak, and coupled with the tacit understanding he shared with the magician before, he longed for the possibility that from now on, he might find happiness.
Even if it was fleeting.
Yet this joy made the current pain even more terrifying, like the feeling of having hope only for it to be shattered.
At the same time, the increasingly intense emotions were integrating better with Luo Yiran himself.
Perhaps it was because of this that Luo Yiran felt something he had never experienced before.
“Young master.” The magician looked at the bright lights ahead, holding Luo Yiran steadily, his long arms resting under his knees and back: “Humans are truly honest.”
Luo Yiran placed his hand on his neck, feeling a faint itch at his Adam’s apple: “Why do you say that?”
“Because for the first time, I felt the tenderness you revealed to me.”
Luo Yiran raised his eyes to look into the magician’s eyes, his expression shifting from indifferent to icy.
In fact, apart from the coquettish request for a hug and the soft embrace around the other’s neck, there was no sign of his wavering at other times.
“This isn’t me.” Luo Yiran denied, looking very certain: “It’s just that other emotion briefly brought to me…”
Pain and love.
Yet, the softness within was more terrifying than the fear and hopelessness.
However, Luo Yiran knew it was false, no matter how real it felt, as long as it didn’t belong to him, it was fake.
He wasn’t that kind of person.
Luo Yiran was very sure, because he knew how his true self would react when faced with all this.
Just like when Luo Jun accompanied him for so long, he didn’t cry or feel sad after his death.
Everyone understands that human life is limited, and everyone we meet will eventually leave, but he differs from others in that he accepts this truth, knowing that ultimately people will leave, so he doesn’t grieve for them.
Naturally, he wouldn’t give love either.
The magician looked into Luo Yiran’s calm eyes, realizing that all this was temporary, so his previously raised lips settled down.
Luo Yiran’s hand on his neck moved slightly, meticulously analyzing himself, then slowly stripping away thoughts that, if acted upon, wouldn’t align with his “usual behavior.”
The magician paused, looking down at Luo Yiran, the tenderness that seemed to have peeked through a corner of his soul vanished instantly, he smiled faintly: “I really underestimated the young master.”
Luo Yiran looked up, smiling, but the smile was very fractured, as if two souls were vying for his body, one wanting to show joy and satisfaction at seeing someone he liked, and the other a coldly indifferent observer, making it very strange.
“…”
“Don’t show that expression…” Luo Yiran said with interest, then commented: “Perhaps you shouldn’t have removed the bandage, you look more like a hedgehog without spikes… full of flaws.”
He said this, yet his expression struggled as if speaking harsh words to a loved one: “But you shouldn’t have emotions imposed on you, right?”
So, the expression and physical gestures at this moment should be genuine.
The magician’s lips turned downward, his face expressionless.
Luo Yiran’s expression changed for a moment, then he tugged at the corner of his mouth, his hand on his throat tightening, pain causing him to involuntarily make this gesture, yet Luo Yiran still exuded a leisurely aura, looking at the pitch-black sky.
To say such excessive words to someone showing such tender expressions towards him… he truly was abnormal.
However, Luo Yiran sometimes felt he wasn’t human, emotions so faint they were easily overlooked, taste dull, and perception of temperature as well.
But he was indeed human, after all, he could bleed red blood. And although faint, emotions were present, and his appearance had no flaws.
…Perhaps becoming a special species of doll was because the existence of a doll inherently resembled him.
Hmm… being a doll is better.
Luo Yiran felt the magician’s heart pounding intensely–he no longer wanted to possess intense emotions.
Rarely did it make him feel somewhat afraid.
The magician closed his eyes in anger at Luo Yiran’s words, and when he opened them again, he spoke gently: “I really want to bully you until you cry.”
Luo Yiran: “…?”
Magician: “Hurry and leave this instance, or you’ll end up strangling yourself.”
Luo Yiran: “…” In these two sentences revealing the magician’s temper, the title of young master was absent.
Luo Yiran didn’t know why he cared about such details, he shifted his thoughts: “The Dead Woman is the key, find her and we can leave.”
After entering the instance, the magician focused on enjoying himself, knowing little about the plot beyond Luo Yiran. But he knew how Luo Yiran identified the Dead Woman before.
Before entering the instance, Luo Yiran noticed the resemblance between the relief’s skeleton and Li Wei’s figure.
But in this instance, there were many girls, yet only Qiu Xia and Su Jingjing had a plot. However, their skeletons didn’t resemble the Dead Woman’s.
In general, the Dead Woman’s shoulders were wider than average, and her leg bones longer.
“Don’t be limited.” Yiran seemed to know what the magician was thinking. He said this, then coughed twice and reached out to wrap his arms around the magician’s neck. “It’s just changing your appearance. In a place that’s fake to begin with, it should be an easy thing.”
And then, another Li Wei, identical to the first, appeared beside him.
The magician hardly thought about this matter. He calmly looked at Yiran’s hand around his neck. “Young master, don’t let ‘not yourself’ emotions control you.”
“…” Yiran replied coldly, “I’ll do my best.”
As he spoke, he didn’t loosen his grip, nor did he say to put him down.
Because, in truth, it was pleasant and comforting. To embrace someone you like.
If it didn’t cloud his judgment, it would be nice to experience this occasionally. But sadly, once they left this small instance, this kind of unexperienced happiness would be gone.
“Where is the Dead Woman?”
Yiran paused slightly at the magician’s words, then replied in a mocking tone, “Just think about it yourself.”
Hearing this, the magician’s mood improved a little. He looked at Yiran with a faint smile, satisfied with his seemingly sulking tone. He pondered for a moment, then said, “That Li Wei you mentioned before–what kind of person is she?”
Yiran swallowed back the words he was about to say–“figure it out yourself.” He finally realized that speaking like this was probably because he was upset by the magician’s earlier comment about not being ruled by emotions. So he forced himself to hold back, the corners of his mouth twitching. “…She’s an ordinary, normal person.”
His expression was much more vivid and natural than when outside. The magician carried him forward again, and Yiran didn’t ask where they were going.
“That Li Wei, her grades were good, right? Probably above average.” The magician’s voice was calm. “A good family, plenty of friends.”
“…Yes.” Yiran thought of the L in Qiu Qiu’s diary, then nodded. “I… Qiu Qiu envied her, because she was genuinely happy inside and out.”
“Ever since the incident in Qiu Xia’s senior year, after seeing how the parents treated her sister, Qiu Qiu became very restrained. At that time, he was already anxious about realizing his own orientation was different from most people. Through his sister’s experience, he understood that his orientation was also a grave mistake.”
“Even more serious than his sister’s ‘puppy love.'”
“So he became the ‘good kid.'”
But it wasn’t just because of that.
Obedient, sensible, cheerful… perfect.
This was the kind of child their parents wished for. For as long as he could remember, the parents had been describing the child they wanted beside him and his sister, but never once said, “You two are exactly the children I always hoped for.”
Nor did they ever ask what kind of parents their children wanted.
Yet Qiu Qiu still complied. He became the child his parents wanted, received their praise, and felt “happiness and joy.”
But unfortunately, this manufactured happiness and joy never truly brought Qiu Qiu any real joy. On the contrary, it only added another layer of self-loathing.
Under such circumstances, it’s only natural that Qiu Qiu would envy someone who was genuinely happy.
“Probably.” Yiran added a premise, then continued, “This isn’t the Dead Woman’s Li Wei, but the self that the real Dead Woman yearned for and aspired to be.”
To create this happy and ordinary Li Wei was because she wanted to live that kind of life.
So if she wasn’t…
The magician looked at Yiran–the real Dead Woman’s whereabouts became glaringly obvious.
No wonder Lin Na had to apologize to him.
Zhang Mimi lay sprawled on the bed, his arms covered in scars both old and new, all made with his own utility knife.
Some were still oozing blood, some had just scabbed over.
He had been here for a full half month already, but…
Zhang Mimi’s eyes, dull and lifeless, lifted as he looked at his dark-circled reflection in the mirror–where was the key?
So far, the key was most likely an object or a person.
But the chance of the key being an object was low, because this small instance was closely tied to Lin Na’s original story, so the key must be something or someone important from Lin Na’s story.
And for him, a player who had experienced Lin Na’s instance before, there weren’t any important objects in that instance.
It was more about people.
The bullies and the bullied… and the bystanders.
He thought for a while, then felt his mind grow hazy, unable to focus.
Zhang Mimi’s breathing grew rapid. He quickly reached for the head of the bed, took the utility knife, and once again slashed his arm.
This time, he didn’t control his strength well; blood gushed out quickly, and his hand instantly went limp. Zhang Mimi had no choice but to drop the knife and press his hand to the wound, his body trembling.
No… can’t sink into these emotions, they’re not his own feelings. Sinking in will only bring destruction to himself…
Damn… Zhang Mimi glared at the door ahead–but he was the one bearing all this.
What should he do? What could he do?
The key… the key… if it’s not an object, then it’s a person?
Who?
The original instance boss Tang Bai? Or the bullied Lin Na? Or perhaps… the instigator, the sister played by Xia Lang?
