After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me

Because I had surgery, I couldn’t leave the hospital, and my emotions became increasingly anxious. If Chi Jin hadn’t arranged for my pathology surgery ahead of time, I would have waited, since there was just too much going on at home.

Now, I could only lie in the hospital bed, unable to go anywhere.

Chi Jin knew I was worried, so he entrusted a friend to help me handle matters at home.

I called my mom but didn’t dare tell her about the tumor in my stomach. My little sister and dad had both run into trouble one after another–I was afraid my mom wouldn’t be able to handle it if she found out I was sick too. I only told her there was a polyp in my stomach that the doctor wanted to remove, and that I hadn’t contacted them these days because I didn’t want them to worry.

After listening, my mom cried and said our family must’ve done something terribly wrong–why did all the bad things have to happen to us?

Hearing that, I was overwhelmed with guilt. It wasn’t my family’s fault. It was mine.

But I couldn’t say it.

In my heart, I secretly hoped my illness would turn out to be stomach cancer, because I was the one who deserved to die the most.

On the evening of my third day in the hospital, I got a call from my mom–she said they had found my dad’s body.

When I heard the bad news, I cried all night. Even though I’d already guessed this would be the outcome, actually hearing that my dad was gone, the sorrow still drowned me.

My dad had been a fisherman all his life, honest and straightforward. He liked a drink, spoke bluntly and coarsely, not much for pleasantries, but he was a kind person. He shouldn’t have died so tragically.

From the pitch-black night to the pale crescent moon, my eyes hurt so much from crying that even blinking stung.

Chi Jin brought me breakfast, and when he saw me staring blankly out the window, he sighed softly: “Don’t be sad anymore. The dead are gone, you need to live strong. Your mom and little sister are still waiting for you. If you collapse again, what will they do?”

I slowly turned my head to look at Chi Jin, and tears spilled out of my eyes again. Yes, my mom and sister were still waiting for me, but what about me? With this sick body, what could I do? I could only become their burden.

That was the hardest part for me.

I couldn’t share any of my family’s burdens, and I was dragging them down, making them worry about me.

I really deserved to die.

“Chi Jin, I need to go back for my dad’s funeral,” I said hoarsely.

Chi Jin hesitated for a moment, then said, “Alright, I’ll talk to the hospital and take you back home.”

“Thank you.”

Chi Jin’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He lowered his voice and said, “Bai Yu, I’m sorry. Actually, I was using you before. When I said we were partners, it was just because I wanted your help against Song Yu.”

“I really am a terrible person.”

“I used to look down on you, thought you were with Song Yu just for money. But then I realized you were just another poor soul deceived by him.”

“Now you’re sick, and so many things have happened at home…”

I gave a wry, meaningless grin. “This is my retribution. You don’t have to pity me. It’s my own arrogance, I can’t blame anyone else. But you–how are things on your father’s side?”

That was what I cared about most now. I just wanted Song Yu to lose everything, to see him fall into the mud, miserable and ruined–that would be wonderful.

“My father has already contacted the major banks, preparing to secure the offshore oil project before Song Yu does. Then, we’ll secretly make his investment money disappear. When that happens, not only will he be ruined, he’ll completely lose his say in the board of directors.”

“But how will you get rid of his money? That’s not easy,” I said. With so much money, the idea that Chi Jin could make it all disappear seemed unrealistic.

“Why not? Doing business with unstable countries is never about trust. Dirty money, swallowing goods, sabotaging projects–it happens all the time. It’s not that hard.” Chi Jin sounded casual, as if he knew the dark side of things all too well.

But thinking about it, a company as big as Huanya couldn’t possibly do everything above board.

“Then… what about the account book? Will it threaten you?”

“No. Once Song Yu loses his influence, that account book will be meaningless in his hands. He won’t even have a chance to approach the International Trade Organization, let alone report us.”

“It’s just that we won’t be able to get him thrown in jail so easily. But as long as we wait for the right moment, there will come a day when he pays for what he’s done.”

“Let’s hope so,” I echoed.

Though Chi Jin sounded so confident, I still felt something was off, though I couldn’t say exactly what. If I had to say, it all just seemed too smooth, as if everything was planned out in advance.

But since Chi Jin said there really was an offshore oil project, it shouldn’t be wrong. Maybe it was just that I’d been tricked by Song Yu so many times that everything looked like a trap to me now.

On the fifth day in the hospital, I could already get out of bed. Determined to handle my dad’s funeral myself, I begged Chi Jin to take me back to Xin Ze before the pathology result came out.

Chi Jin knew how eager I was to go home, so he didn’t stop me.

On the way back, I lay almost the entire time in the passenger seat, resting. In these days in the hospital, I’d lost another five or six kilos. At 1.78 meters tall, my weight was under 100, making me look especially frightening.

So my mom wouldn’t worry, I deliberately wore a thick, puffy coat, hoping to look a bit healthier.

When we were almost at Xin Ze Town, Chi Jin suddenly got a call. It turned out Song Yu had brought people to my house looking for me.

I immediately panicked.

How could he have the nerve to come to my house?

Chi Jin asked what I wanted to do–did I still want to go back?

Of course I had to go back, but I’d have to find a way to avoid Song Yu. I didn’t want to see him, and I was afraid he’d find some way to take me away again.

Anyway, he couldn’t stay at my house forever. I just needed to wait for him to leave.

By the time Chi Jin and I reached the fishing village, it was already afternoon. To avoid attracting attention, Chi Jin didn’t drive into the village but parked by the pond outside.

As soon as the car stopped, we saw my mom and some relatives and neighbors coming out, waving shovels and brooms, yelling and cursing as they chased two cars away, then throwing a pile of what looked like expensive gifts at the village entrance.

One of the cars was Song Yu’s Cullinan, the other a Mercedes van.

Looked like my mom and the others had driven them out.

My mom, waving her broom, stood at the entrance, crying as she shouted, “Who wants your fake, insincere things? You think a little money makes you special? Get out! Our family doesn’t welcome you! Wuwuwu…”

The neighbors all joined my mom, pointing at Song Yu’s cars and cursing. Only when the cars drove away did they help my mom back inside.

I hurriedly opened the car door, summoning all my strength to call out to my mom. I thought it would be loud, but it wasn’t even as loud as the dogs barking at the entrance.

But my mom still heard me. She turned around, searching for the sound. At first, she didn’t dare believe it was me. Only when I called “Mom” again did she choke out my name and hurry toward me. With Chi Jin supporting me, I walked slowly to meet her.

“Son, how are you? Is the surgery done? Why have you lost so much weight? Your face looks so pale. Was this really just a minor surgery?” My mom clutched my hand tightly, her eyes scanning me up and down like a machine, bombarding me with questions.

I thought wearing more layers would help cover it up, but my face still betrayed the truth.

“It’s nothing. I just haven’t been able to eat much these past few days after the surgery, so I’ve lost a bit of weight. I’ll be fine after a while.”

My mom nodded skeptically, but then she started sobbing uncontrollably. “Son, your dad… he’s gone… he’s gone… That old man is no longer with us. How am I supposed to live the rest of my life now…?”

“Your sister’s condition has worsened over the past few days. She can’t be left alone for even a moment, and her mind is all over the place. Son, what am I going to do? What am I supposed to do?” She cried bitterly.

“Don’t cry, Mom. It’s okay. I’ll take care of you both. I’ve grown up now. I can shoulder this family’s burdens. From now on, I’ll handle everything,” I said, holding back my tears to comfort her.

At this moment, I was her only pillar of support. I couldn’t cry, and I couldn’t fall apart.

Hearing my words, my mom leaned on my shoulder and wailed loudly. The upheaval in the family, and the fact that I hadn’t been there for her immediately, made me realize how much pressure she must have endured as a woman facing everything alone.

Thinking about this made me feel even more unfilial. “Mom, it’s my fault. I’m sorry for leaving you to face all this alone.”

My mom shook her head as she wept, cursing bitterly, “It’s not your fault. It’s those damned bastards. They’ll never have peace.”

“And that Song Yu! I may not understand much about business, but I do know that if you take someone’s property, you’re supposed to compensate them. He took the land at Deer Skull Cliff without paying anyone compensation. Of course, those people were going to make trouble. And when they couldn’t get to him, they came to harm us ordinary people. Your sister and your father… oh, God…”

“Today, he even came to our house to apologize, saying he wanted to see you. Where does he get the nerve? He said he didn’t expect those people to break the law even after he reported them to the police. Hah! Easy for him to say. Your dad always said Jin Sheng and his gang were not to be messed with. What’s the point of calling the police? Arresting a few small-time thugs for a few days? When they get out, they’ll just come back for revenge.”

“Mom, let’s not talk about him anymore. I want to see Fei and Dad first.” I didn’t want to hear anything about Song Yu right now or have anything to do with him.

“Your dad’s body is at the funeral home. Go see Fei first; she’s at home, and your aunt is with her.”

“Alright.”

When we got home, my mom wouldn’t let anyone else come inside, saying it might scare my sister. Hearing this made my heart ache, and my nose stung, but I didn’t say anything. When I opened my sister’s bedroom door and saw her sitting dazed in a corner of the bed, nervously scratching at a ballpoint pen, I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. I broke down crying on the spot.

“Fei, your brother is here…”

Hearing my voice, my sister instinctively raised her head to look at me. But then, as if she had seen some kind of monster, she let out a sharp scream and curled up tightly, burying herself in my aunt’s arms.

Seeing this scene felt like a knife twisting in my heart.

My sister had just turned fifteen after the New Year. She was supposed to be blooming like a flower, but she’d been ruined like this…

I clenched my fists, my breath coming in heavy, uncontrollable waves. I wanted nothing more than to tear those bastards into pieces.

“Bai Yu, stand back a little. Fei has moments of clarity and moments of confusion. When she sees unfamiliar faces, she screams. Let her calm down for a bit,” my aunt said, holding my trembling sister tightly and trying to calm her down.

My mom walked over to Fei, her voice soft and soothing. “Don’t be scared, sweetie. That’s your brother, Bai Yu. Come on, look, it’s alright.”

My sister let out a few more incoherent cries, clearly resisting.

I wiped my tears and quickly stopped my mom. “Mom, don’t force her. It’s okay. I just wanted to see her.”

Seeing me cry, my mom started crying again. “She’s been like this ever since that day–mostly confused, rarely clear-headed. Sometimes she just screams and shouts…”

My aunt sighed and said, “Bai Yu’s mom, I’ve told you before–you should listen to that President Song and take Fei to a big hospital in the city. Keeping her tied up at home like this isn’t a solution.”

My mom’s face changed instantly. “Absolutely not! He’s talking about a psychiatric hospital. How could Fei survive in a place like that? No way. Don’t even think about it.”

“Oh, Bai Yu’s mom, it’s a hospital to treat her. Why are you making it sound like it’s some kind of hellhole? I think President Song makes sense. Fei is still so young. With proper treatment, she can recover. But if you keep her locked up at home like this, her life will be ruined.”

“Can Song Yu really have such a good heart? Hasn’t he done enough harm to my Fei already? And now he’s pretending to care about her health? I don’t need his charity. As long as Fei isn’t well, I’ll take care of her. If it’s one year, I’ll take care of her for a year. If it’s a lifetime, I’ll care for her for a lifetime.”

Seeing how adamant my mom was, my aunt didn’t press the issue anymore and just let out a long, helpless sigh.

Because I was in the room, Fei stayed trembling in my aunt’s arms, unwilling to come out. I had no choice but to leave. Still, my aunt’s words lingered in my mind.

She was right. Fei was still so young. Most of her condition was due to the trauma she had suffered. I couldn’t just let her stay at home and deteriorate. Getting her the right medical treatment was the top priority.

When I came out, Chi Jin immediately approached me. “How is it? Is your sister alright?”

I sighed and shook my head.

“Chi Jin, do you know any good psychiatric specialists? Fei can’t stay here anymore. I have to find a way to get her treated.”

“That? I’ll ask around for you later. It shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Thank you, Chi Jin. I’m sorry to trouble you again.”

“Oh, don’t say that–”

Suddenly, Chi Jin’s phone rang in his pocket. He took it out and glanced at the screen. It was a call from the tumor hospital. It was probably the pathology results.

Chi Jin looked at me, and I smiled to reassure him. “It’s okay. Go ahead and answer it.”

He hesitated for a moment before picking up the call.

“Hello, Dr. Zhang.”

“Hello, Mr. Chi. Your friend’s pathology results are out.”

Chi Jin cleared his throat nervously. “…How is it?”

“I’m very sorry. It’s stomach cancer, stage III.”

Although I couldn’t hear what the doctor was saying on the other end, I could tell from Chi Jin’s expression what the diagnosis was.

I had stomach cancer. And it was already serious.

To be honest, I had expected this result long ago.