Chapter 1

Chapter 1

When I woke up, my nose was filled with the smell of disinfectant.

It was raining outside. Raindrops tapped against the glass, one after another, like someone rapping their knuckles against my forehead.

I stared at the ceiling for a long time, until a woman in a white coat leaned over me.

“Su Qingyu, can you hear me?”

I tried to nod, but my neck hurt as if someone had twisted it.

She asked again, “Do you know where you are?”

I opened my mouth. My voice came out so hoarse it didn’t sound like mine.

“The hospital.”

The doctor let out a breath of relief, then shone a small flashlight into my eyes.

It was too bright. I turned my face away.

A man was standing in the doorway of the ward.

He wore a gray hoodie with the cuffs pushed up to his forearms, and he was holding a thermos carrier.

I didn’t know him.

But the moment I saw him, my chest suddenly felt unbearably tight, as if someone had stuffed a wet towel inside it.

The doctor followed my gaze and said softly, “This is the caregiver looking after you. His surname is Zhou.”

The man walked over and set the thermos carrier on the cabinet.

His movements were very quiet, as if he were afraid of waking something.

I stared at his hand.

There was a faint mark around his ring finger, like the trace left behind after wearing a ring for a long time.

A name suddenly came to me.

Zhou Yinghuai.

It wasn’t that I remembered his face, nor that I remembered his voice.

It was just that the instant the name surfaced, a chill rose in my stomach.

I asked the doctor, “Am I married?”

The ward went quiet for a moment.

The caregiver surnamed Zhou had his back to me and was pouring water.

The doctor glanced at him and said vaguely, “You’ve only just woken up. There’s no need to rush to think about a lot of things.”

I asked again, “Who is Zhou Yinghuai?”

The cup touched the tabletop with a soft clink.

The caregiver’s hand stopped.

The doctor said, “You remember that name?”

“I do.”

She asked, “What else do you remember?”

I closed my eyes.

A black sedan flashed through my mind. A rainy night. The sharp screech of brakes. And a sentence I had screamed until my heart tore apart.

“Zhou Yinghuai, I will never forgive you in this lifetime.”

I opened my eyes. My nails dug into my palm.

“I hate him.”

The doctor didn’t ask anything more.

Before she left, she told the caregiver not to upset me. She also said I had suffered a head injury, and that my short-term memories and memories from the past three years were jumbled. It would be best to let them recover slowly.

After the door closed, only the man and I were left in the ward.

He inserted a straw into the cup of water and held it to my lips.

I didn’t take it.

“What’s your name?”

His eyes were lowered.

“Zhou Huai.”

“Zhou, as in Zhou Yinghuai?”

He was silent for a second.

“Mm.”

I gave a small laugh.

“Are all you men surnamed Zhou this good at lying to women?”

His lashes shifted slightly.

“Not all of us.”

“What about Zhou Yinghuai, then?”

He set the water back down, his voice lowering a little.

“He’s not very good at being a person.”

“How so?”

He seemed to think about it seriously.

“Stubborn. Refuses to explain. When something happens, all he knows how to do is carry it alone.”

I was sick of listening.

“Sounds like a self-righteous bastard congratulating himself on his own sacrifice.”

He nodded.

“He is.”

I froze for a moment.

Most people wouldn’t go along with an insult like that.

He opened the thermos carrier. Inside was plain congee.

“The doctor said you can only have a little something light.”

I turned my face away.

“I’m not hungry.”

He didn’t try to persuade me. He set the spoon in place, then took an apple out of the bag.

He was skilled at peeling it. A thin strip of peel drooped from beneath the knife without breaking.

As I watched, my head suddenly began to ache.

A kitchen flashed through my mind.

I was sitting on the counter, watching a man peel an apple for me.

I said, “If you can keep it from breaking, I’ll reward you with a kiss.”

The man lowered his head and smiled.

In the next second, the image shattered.

I clutched my head, unable to breathe.

The caregiver immediately put down the knife and pressed the call button.

“Don’t think about it.”

His hand stopped in midair, wanting to help me, only to pull back by force.

“Su Qingyu, don’t think.”

I looked up at him.

“How do you know my name is Su Qingyu?”

He said, “It’s written on the card at the head of the bed.”

I looked toward the head of the bed.

The card there had only the three words Su Qingyu written on it. It didn’t say that I liked apples, or that I hated it when people got too close.

And it definitely didn’t say that when he called my name just now, his voice sounded as if it was about to shatter.