The Shtick Must Survive - Chapter 1 - The Old House 1

The bus screeched to a halt at the station.

A young girl in a pale blue dress stood up. She had soft, long hair that seemed as gentle as her demeanor, and her small face with round, innocent eyes sparkled with naivety.

“…Getting off?”

A portly man hopped off the bus first. “Little sister, if you don’t get off soon, you’ll get squished into a meatloaf.”

The loudspeaker at the station blared twice-[We have arrived at ‘Old House’. All passengers please disembark! The bus will only stop for a limited time. Warning, all passengers must disembark!]

The girl then stepped off the bus, catching up to the portly man who had walked ahead. “Big brother, my name is Gu Xiyue. What’s yours?”

“My name is Li Ke, not big brother! I’m old enough to be your uncle.”

Li Ke thought to himself that this girl clearly wasn’t one of those who had signed up for the “Escape from Earth Plan” voluntarily. She must have been one of those lucky enough to board the bus when the Dark Erosion occurred. Such a lady, pampered and sheltered, wouldn’t last a day in the Realm of the Undead.

Gu Xiyue quickly corrected herself: “Uncle Li, are we about to enter the Realm now?”

Li Ke, looking listless, replied, “The gates to the Realm only open when there are enough visitors. If we’re unlucky, we might have to wait several days at the entrance. Xiyue, how come you don’t know anything! Did you sign up for the Escape from Earth Plan voluntarily?”

Gu Xiyue shifted uncomfortably, “…Yes… I signed up without telling my family.”

Her voice was sweet and soft, making her seem fragile, which led Li Ke to mistake her age. Only Earthlings who were at least twenty-two years old could sign up for the Escape from Earth Plan, and she looked far too young, almost less than eighteen.

Those who signed up voluntarily were true newcomers and could use a Shield that protects against attacks from Monsters three times. These could be used for oneself or others. However, those who were lucky enough to board the bus, although also their first time in the Realm of the Undead, did not receive these life-saving tokens.

Knowing that Gu Xiyue had signed up voluntarily changed Li Ke’s attitude toward her, making him more enthusiastic, at least enough to actually look at her.

You signed up without your family knowing?

He didn’t need to ask; he thought he could guess most of her background. A lady raised delicately in a post-apocalyptic world, how could her family ever agree to let her sign up for the Plan! Like a little lamb entering a wolf pack, she’d be devoured in no time.

Li Ke seriously stated, “We were fated to ride the same bus. You’re a newcomer, and I’ve already survived two Realms of the Undead. I’m your senior and I have some life-saving tips to share. First, don’t be impulsive; second, don’t make mistakes; third, don’t be greedy.”

These life-saving tips seemed crucial and absolutely correct, but upon closer scrutiny, the advice was quite vague.

Gu Xiyue: “Uncle Li, I don’t understand.”

Li Ke: “You don’t need to understand, just remember what I said. The watch you’re wearing on your left wrist, was it given to you by the bus driver? That’s a live broadcasting device. I suggest you hide it. Whether or not to start the broadcast is entirely up to you.”

Gu Xiyue touched the watch, a simple electronic device with only two buttons; a green one for hiding the device and a red one for starting the broadcast. She pressed both buttons, and Li Ke watched her clearly, his eyes flickering but ultimately, he said nothing and treated her even better.

There was only one path; the two of them walked forward.

Li Ke lit a cigarette, and Gu Xiyue noticed he smoked more vigorously than ever, as if trying to alleviate the anxiety of entering the Realm of the Undead. Soon, he finished one cigarette and lit another, causing Gu Xiyue to cough from the smoke.

Li Ke scoffed: “Xiyue, you really don’t seem like someone who’s lived through the apocalypse.”

Gu Xiyue showed a slight displeasure and stepped a bit away from him.

Perhaps wanting to maintain a good relationship, Li Ke stopped smoking. However, the distance between them didn’t decrease.

They reached the entrance.

Ten people were already waiting there, both men and women. As they approached, they immediately became the center of attention.

Li Ke whispered to Gu Xiyue, “Stick with me.”

Nodding, Gu Xiyue followed him, her shoes tapping a “pat-pat” sound on the polished floor. As they entered, the door hissed open, and the people waiting walked in one after another.

It was pitch black inside, and Gu Xiyue couldn’t see her hand in front of her face.

She was sure she was the last to enter before the door closed behind her. Just a few steps inside, she frowned, feeling something bump into her lower back. When she reached to touch it, she felt a sticky sensation.

In the darkness, the innocence in her eyes faded completely.

Soon, the darkness was replaced by light as several candelabras were lit simultaneously. The room appeared to be a storage area, cluttered with various tools. In the center, a broken table stood out, with an overturned incense burner spilling ash everywhere.

There was only one door, now slightly ajar.

Turning with the dim candlelight, Gu Xiyue noticed a shelf behind her with a picture frame lying face down. She looked back to find a Black Handprint on her lower back on her blue dress, stark and ominous. She picked up the picture frame, which should have contained a photograph, but it had been torn out, leaving only patchy glue marks.

Li Ke: “Xiyue, are you alright?”

Gu Xiyue: “…I think something touched me.”

Her voice trembled slightly, and Li Ke smirked inwardly. He didn’t approach her but asked her to turn around. Seeing the Black Handprint, he didn’t touch it but instead moved further away, his words more of a scare than reassurance: “Don’t be afraid, you’ve been attacked by the Undead.”

This was hardly comforting.

Under the candlelight, Gu Xiyue’s face was extremely pale. She tapped the Black Handprint on her dress, trying to brush it off, but to no avail. While she was still uneasy, a muscular man with tattooed arms pushed open the left door to explore outside, giving Gu Xiyue a chance to check the shelf and find a key hanging there.

Suddenly, a sharp scream erupted, sending shivers down everyone’s spine. The tattooed man hurried back with a candelabra, illuminating a man on the ground gasping for air. After ensuring there was nothing unusual around, he asked in a low voice, “You scared the hell out of me, what are you screaming for?”

The man was still trembling, the candlelight bringing him a slight sense of security. He looked deranged as he said, “Something just grabbed my ankle…”

There was nothing around.

The tattooed man saw the Black Handprint on the man’s ankle and grimaced: “Shut up, or I’ll kill you myself.”

His fierce eyes scanned everyone present: “Such a fuss over a small matter. We’re in the Realm of the Undead; don’t you know what to expect here? I see there are many newcomers at this station. I advise you not to hold us back; your life is your own.”

Everyone dispersed, staying away from the man who still couldn’t stand. Gu Xiyue watched him for a while, her face showing hesitance, but eventually, she knelt down in front of him: “Hello! My name is Gu Xiyue, I’m also a newcomer and was attacked just like you. Nothing has happened so far, so don’t be afraid.”

She showed him the Black Handprint on her lower back.

Finally, someone was willing to interact with him, and the man eagerly spoke to Gu Xiyue: “It’s my first time entering the Realm of the Undead, I don’t know anything, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay, it’s normal to be scared in situations like this, nothing will happen.”

Gu Xiyue’s reassurance worked. She was a newcomer who had been attacked but had not been harmed. The man’s frantic emotions slowly settled, and his facial expression system rebooted.

He gratefully said, “Thank you!”

Gu Xiyue smiled at him and returned to Li Ke’s side.

Li Ke had watched their entire interaction: “Xiyue, meddling in others’ affairs won’t help you survive in the Realm of the Undead.”

Gu Xiyue: “Uncle Li, my Talent is Affinity, which helps stabilize teammates’ emotions at critical moments. Look at me; I probably can’t do much else. If I don’t use my Talent, what use am I?”

Being of no value meant no respect.

Li Ke’s eyes showed a hint of envy. After the Undead invasion, some Earthlings had developed positive changes. Earthlings could trigger a Talent before the age of twenty-two. The odds were not high, nearly one in a thousand. For those who had turned twenty-two before the outbreak of the Dark Erosion, there was no chance to activate any Talent.

Having a Talent indeed increased one’s chances of survival in the Realm of the Undead. Even a non-offensive Talent like Affinity could make those without any Talent envious.

Li Ke realized he had underestimated Gu Xiyue, not just because of her Talent but also because she wasn’t just a frail flower swaying in the wind. This seemingly delicate girl was definitely one of the best among the newcomers, at least brave enough.

Li Ke: “Does your ability work on the Undead?”

Gu Xiyue awkwardly said, “I don’t know; I’ve never encountered the Undead before… and it’s a passive ability. I can’t control it.”

Li Ke nodded, acknowledging her response.

Gu Xiyue: “What do we do now?”

Li Ke: “Let’s look around and see if we can find any clues. Don’t touch anything that seems off; it might anger the Undead.”

Including Gu Xiyue, twelve visitors had entered the station, most of whom were searching the room for clues. A few followed the tattooed man, named Hua Meng, who had likely cleared more Realms of the Undead and ventured outside to explore. The emotionally overwhelmed man also approached the shelf, although he didn’t touch anything for a long time.

The key Gu Xiyue had noticed was soon discovered by others. The room was filled with everyday items, and the only oddity was the blood-stained thin rope under the shelf.

Li Ke: “This might be an important prop.”

Gu Xiyue: “It’s covered in blood; I don’t dare to touch it.”

Though she appeared calm, she was still a young girl. Li Ke didn’t say much and pulled the rope out to show it to the others in the room. So far, he felt this newcomer was really easy to manage, even more likable than when he first entered the Realm of the Undead.

Li Ke: “Let’s go take a look outside.”

“Ah-”

Gu Xiyue turned pale with fright, her heart pounding as the same person screamed again-the man who had been attacked earlier.

The man clutched the Black Handprint on his ankle, his face contorted in agony. Under everyone’s gaze, white smoke began to rise from his body, and the stench of rotting flesh filled the room. The severe pain made him lose the ability to cry for help, and even his moans became barely audible. No one scolded him this time; for those standing nearby, it was only a few minutes, but for the man himself, it was an excruciating eternity. Eventually, he dissolved into a puddle of thick liquid.

At that moment, everyone who witnessed this breathed a sigh of relief as the prolonged, brutal torment finally ended.

Entering the Realm of the Undead for such a short time, the first person died, name unknown. The only proof of his existence was the set of clothes soaking in the liquid on the ground.

Silence.

Li Ke was the first to recover: “Yo, looks like someone’s VIP membership just expired.”

This attempt at humor did little to lighten the mood; it was Hua Meng returning that broke the growing, oppressive fear in the room. He covered his nose, glanced at the clothes on the ground, and his pupils shrank: “We need to leave quickly. Did you find any clues inside?”

No one wanted to die that way. Everyone cooperated actively, showing the rope and key to Hua Meng, who sighed in relief: “Good, there’s a corridor leading to a study. The door to the study is locked; this should be the key.”

Given the loud screams earlier, Hua Meng and the others outside must have heard, but no one came back to check. It was only after confirming it was safe that they returned.

Li Ke noticed Gu Xiyue’s stiffness and smiled: “Don’t be afraid. You voluntarily signed up for the Plan; you’re not like him. You can escape death three times.”

Li Ke’s words made it clear to Gu Xiyue. When signing up for the Plan, the contract stated that in the first Realm, newcomers possessed a Shield that could block three attacks from the Undead.

There were two possible ways to enter the Realm of the Undead: voluntarily signing up for the Plan, which was proactive and managed by the organization running the Escape from Earth Plan, allowing residents of the Safe Zone to sign up; or being swept up in secondary Undead erosions, lucky enough to board the bus without dying and forced to enter the Realm.

If one wasn’t mentally prepared, it was a disaster, both for oneself and for those traveling with them.

Facing death was a psychological torture for fellow travelers.

The Undead usually referred to those entering the Realm from the station as tourists, a mocking term indeed. Gu Xiyue understood this identity thoroughly; they weren’t there to sightsee but to deliver themselves.

Until everyone left the storage room, Gu Xiyue’s Shield hadn’t activated. Both had been attacked by the Undead, the Black Handprint still visible on Gu Xiyue’s lower back, yet she hadn’t been harmed.

Gu Xiyue knew she hadn’t done anything different from others after entering the Realm but had experienced an attack from the Undead. The other attacked person presumably hadn’t had time to provoke the Undead either, and neither had done anything extra since. Now, the other person was dead, but she was still alive.

There must have been something he did wrong that she hadn’t.

-It was the screaming, or rather, the high-decibel noise.

As they passed through the corridor, Gu Xiyue avoided looking at the eerie paintings on the walls.

Li Ke: “What’s wrong?”

“I think there’s something off about these paintings; those twisted eyes seem alive, watching us.”

Li Ke wasn’t new to the Realms, and though he found the paintings eerie and their colors unsettling-especially with only candlelight for illumination, making the walk down this corridor particularly creepy-he had regarded this as part of the Realm’s horror setting and hadn’t paid much attention until now. Only then did he notice the eyes hidden within these twisted paintings.

If one looked closely, the eyes in the paintings, both large and small, weren’t hard to spot. Meeting these eyes, Li Ke’s hair stood on end, feeling as if every move was being watched.

Hua Meng: “Not every painting hides eyes, the one close to the study doesn’t.”

Now, no one believed these were just decorative paintings anymore, and no one dared to approach the paintings on either side, fearing that hands might suddenly reach out and strangle them. In the Realm of the Undead, anything could happen. This was the home of the Undead, not a place for humans.

The end of the corridor led to a large study with a mahogany door secured by a brass lock. Hua Meng tried the key found in the storage room, but it wouldn’t open the lock; obviously, the rope wasn’t meant for this either.

Someone asked, “Can’t we just break it open?”

Hua Meng laughed sarcastically: “If you think you can break it, be my guest!”

The wise-cracking newcomer, of course, didn’t dare. Everyone felt that breaking the lock was equivalent to courting death.

Li Ke: “There are rules in the Realm, and visitors must respect them.”

Seeing Li Ke’s approachable demeanor, someone quickly asked, “Could you explain the rules to us?”

Li Ke: “It’s hard to explain clearly. You’ll understand after experiencing a few Realms.”

Whether they could get through this Realm was still uncertain! Again, these seemingly sensible but essentially useless words. Gu Xiyue just listened and didn’t change her expression.

Hua Meng: “Do you need others to tell you everything? Don’t you have eyes to see and ears to hear? If you see a locked door, look for a key. That’s the rule.”

Hua Meng and his group had already searched the study once, and with no other clues available, they had to search again. To show fairness, each person was assigned an area. Gu Xiyue was given the left bookshelf. The books weren’t particularly notable, and she flipped through each one without finding anything tucked inside. The books didn’t even seem to have been read by their owner, appearing more like decorations.

The only place left unchecked was the cabinet under the bookshelf.

Gu Xiyue opened the first cabinet, which was empty.

Opening the second cabinet, she found a pale boy crouching inside, his pupil-less eyes meeting hers in a soul-staring contest. With an expressionless face, as calmly as she had closed the first cabinet door, she closed the second.

Li Ke, concerned, asked: “Xiyue, did you find anything?”

Gu Xiyue, as usual, replied: “Nothing found.”

= …… =

Earth Live Room has recently become the number one live-streaming platform across various platforms in the Cosmic Federation. Despite being a newly discovered planet, Earth has drawn an unusually high level of attention from the Federation. Several Federation Monarchs jointly applied for and approved interstellar aid for Earth, causing the public’s focus to shift toward the planet.

Earth Live Room took advantage of this opportunity and emerged as a platform. Its main purpose is to find Earth-based hosts who can showcase local lifestyles to the Federation’s audience. In reality, Earth has already been covertly invaded and largely destroyed. Even if it was once a beautiful planet, it has now lost its appeal. What interstellar viewers truly enjoy watching is the struggle for survival in the Realm of the Undead-they’re even willing to pay for it.

Some viewers get hooked by being introduced to industry-famous streamers, while others prefer watching newcomers stumble. Then there are those who search the platform’s homepage for surprises. New streamers have their live streams featured on the homepage for ten minutes upon their debut, a phenomenon nicknamed “Red Spotlight.” The Federation’s system spans thousands of star zones with an immense population, and the homepage is the default landing page when a user opens the platform. One can imagine how much traffic these ten minutes can generate-it’s the best chance for new streamers to showcase themselves. Whether they can make it big depends on these ten minutes.

“The Strongest Plant – Big Mouth Flower” logged into Earth Live Room and randomly clicked on a stream featured at the top of the homepage. A VIP user on the platform, Big Mouth Flower had already followed all the popular streamers and wasn’t particularly interested in discovering hidden gems. Clicking on this blank stream window was purely an act of boredom.

The Strongest Plant – Big Mouth Flower:  […So quiet at this hour. Wait?! Is this streamer dumb? They just got off the bus and already started streaming. Damn, wasting the golden ten minutes like this!]

Newbie Reporting In:  [Hi newbie here-this streamer is adorable!]

Big Mouth Flower was just about to close the stream, feeling that watching a clueless streamer was a complete waste of time. But seeing the cute comment from the newbie, they decided to stick around, purely for the fun of teasing them.

The Strongest Plant – Big Mouth Flower:  [Wow, haven’t seen this kind of naive, sweet type in years. Starting the stream right after getting off the bus? Smart streamers wait until they enter the Realm before going live. Opening with thrilling footage is the only way to attract viewers. There are so many streamers now-nobody has the patience to listen to someone ramble about meaningless stuff.]

At this time, Gu Xiyue’s stream had just been featured on the homepage, so there were few viewers and even fewer comments. Big Mouth Flower’s long message took up half the screen, and some viewers agreed with their take.

The Strongest Plant – Big Mouth Flower:  [Here’s a tip: No matter how good-looking you are, you’ll just be a pretty vase in the Realm of the Undead. One hit, and you’ll shatter-your death will be so tragic it’ll make you question life. Look at this-no sense of caution around strangers, easily swayed by sweet talk. I bet this streamer won’t last a day in the Realm.]

War God:  [What’s the bet?]

A golden message flashed across the top of the screen. On this platform, the number of viewers is uncountable, but the number of Mr. Gold-level users is fewer than a hundred. They’re on a completely different tier than VIPs. Sensing that the person behind the golden username was someone influential, Big Mouth Flower didn’t dare to argue back. Then another golden message appeared.

War God:  [Who’s the fool opening a stream without checking the host’s profile first?]

And they had called the streamer a “pretty vase”?

Was this a joke?

Big Mouth Flower’s hand trembled as they opened the host’s profile page-and froze.

Name: Gu Xiyue

Age: 20

Talent: Lies

Talent Description: She’s a master deceiver. Not a single word from her mouth can be trusted.

Note in red: Due to the host’s special ability, displayed information may not be accurate.

“Smack.”

It was as if Big Mouth Flower had been slapped across the face. The sting was real. Having roamed Earth Live Room for years, they had never seen such a bizarre profile. This streamer was something else!