Sunshine Filled with Thoughts

Finally, during Zhaozhao and Momo’s second year of pursuing their master’s degrees, they obtained green cards for the United States. Time flew by; over these two years, they juggled their studies while also keeping their adventurous spirit alive in this world. For both of them, especially Momo, two years felt insufficient. Her inherent wildness made it difficult for her to sit in a classroom, listening to Professor Rory’s lectures. Fortunately, despite dividing their time equally between fun and study, she graduated with several enviable recommendations from her professors, landing a position at a prestigious consulting firm with a generous salary.

Although they had been abroad, they never lost touch with Beijing. Especially Linlin, who kept a close eye on her from afar in America. She would see the sweet photos Linlin posted with Na Xuan, capturing moments of them watching the sunrise and enjoying inexpensive snacks at street stalls. Watching their love bloom and grow brought a mix of emotions to Momo.

During these two years, many things started to progress rapidly in different directions. There were moments when, looking at the radiant smiles on their faces in the photos, Momo couldn’t shake the illusion that they might end up together.

However, an illusion is still just an illusion. It seemed as if all the childhood friends shared a kind of telepathy. Shortly after Momo graduated with her master’s degree, she returned to Beijing, eager to reunite with her closest friends and resolve some lingering issues back home.

No one was there to welcome her when she got off the plane, and the feeling of returning home alone was unsettling. Momo carried a new Gucci bag on her shoulder, striding down the aisle like a model stepping off the runway, another hand clutching a stylish travel bag. The adventurous version of herself felt like a distant memory.

She wore oversized sunglasses that covered most of her face, leaving only a hint of her delicate features exposed. With her fair skin, one couldn’t help but imagine how magnetic a woman she must be. Every appearance she made was no different from that of a celebrity.

Just a few days after returning, it was Linlin’s birthday. While still in the States, Momo had already prepared a gift for Linlin’s 20th birthday: a limited edition Gucci gold watch. It was small and exquisite, perfectly matching Linlin’s charm. The moment she laid eyes on it, she was captivated and immediately purchased it.

“Momo, we need to go to the hospital right now. Mom’s condition is very serious. The hospital just called.”

Momo looked up at Zhaozhao in an instant, wishing she were still dreaming. She wanted to believe that this was all an illusion, that it wasn’t real. The next morning, when they visited her mother at the hospital, she would still be sleeping, still beautiful and gentle.

“Don’t evade this. We need to go to the hospital immediately. Momo, you have to be strong.”

Zhaozhao lifted Momo in his arms and helped her sit on the bed. He rummaged through the closet for a coat, wrapping it tightly around her. The two of them, bundled in warm clothes, rushed toward the hospital in the early hours of the morning.

The car glided through the night, with fewer vehicles and pedestrians on the streets. Troubled youth gathered in the city’s alleys, while distressed girls performed in seedy motels. Many people wandered through their not-so-sweet dreams, anxious about how they would support their families the next day.

The city revealed its dark side in the nighttime. It was a time that felt fitting for death. In forgotten corners, someone battered and barely clinging to life might still wish to survive, but it seemed God was already calling his weary soul. In the slums, elderly residents struggled to breathe, yet there was no one beside them; their children lived either in villas or upscale apartments, while this aging man, a source of embarrassment, was alone, slowly dying in the silent night. No one knew. In the hospital, new patients arrived constantly, while others were covered with white sheets and wheeled away. What is death, after all?

Who knows?

Zhaozhao parked the car at the hospital entrance, and Momo hurriedly got out, running down the familiar corridor toward her mother’s room. The hospital’s hallways felt especially eerie in the early morning. Zhaozhao parked quickly and rushed to catch up with Momo, his worry intensifying; he feared for her safety.

He stopped at the end of the familiar hallway, still panting, the hot air surging in his nostrils igniting his heart with dread.

He watched as Momo slowly knelt on the floor, her gaze fixed on the hospital bed, where her mother lay, covered with a shroud of death.

Momo collapsed onto the floor, as if she had lost all her strength and vitality. The pain in her heart screamed sharply, as if it wanted to pierce through her very body.

Zhaozhao knelt beside Momo, wrapping his arms tightly around her frail, cold body. The pain in his heart matched the sorrow of the girl before him.

“It’s okay… I’m here with you,” Zhaozhao whispered, placing his lips gently against Momo’s temple and then near her ear.

He understood that comforting words felt so hollow and powerless at this moment. That gentle woman had held such tremendous weight in Momo’s life, and suddenly, without any warning or preparation, that weight was gone. She had left her.

As a nurse approached to take her mother to the morgue, Momo shot a strange, fierce look at the nurse, as if to say that if they attempted to move her mother, she would fight them. At that moment, Momo truly would have.

Having kept vigil throughout the night, sleep was nowhere in sight. Momo’s eyes, wide and alert, became unsettlingly intense.

Zhaozhao remained by her side, unwavering and steadfast. Always and forever.

The hospital felt too cold during the night, especially in the early hours when only a dim yellow light illuminated the narrow hallway, filling the space with an unnamed terror and sadness. Momo stayed by her mother’s side, holding her now cold hand to her face, imagining the times long ago when she was a child and loved to feel her mother’s gentle touch on her skin. The tenderness of that gaze and touch still lingered vividly in Momo’s mind, but now everything had changed. Everything was gone.

Only a cold body remained.

“Mom… I know it’s better this way. It must have been so hard for you to lie in this cold hospital for all these years. I’ve been so scared to come see you, truly terrified.”

Momo’s voice trembled, the sadness and grief in her tone undeniable. Zhaozhao suddenly realized that in her most devastated and vulnerable moments, he could do nothing to help her-he could only watch. The next morning, Momo’s father arrived, looking unwell, especially in his weary eyes that were filled with a husband’s sorrow. Momo didn’t glance at her father even once.

She had already made preparations to have her mother cremated. Subsequently, she bought a quiet piece of land in Beijing to bury her mother there. As for the man before her, if he wanted to hold a funeral to display his hypocritical devotion to his late ex-wife, it was better to just let it go.

Her mother had endured so much humiliation in life. In death, let her rest peacefully, let her journey be calm and undisturbed.

The middle-aged man watched his daughter, who never glanced at him, and felt a swell of emotions within him. He knew just how much he owed to his daughter and wife. Yet, he was desperately trying to make up for it. When he noticed the tall, handsome young man standing by Momo, he felt a bit of relief. Zhaozhao seemed perfect for her. Initially, when he had heard the news of Momo’s marriage, he had been shocked and worried about whether she had found a man who truly cared for her. Seeing Zhaozhao eased his mind somewhat; understanding that his daughter held resentment toward him, he realized that having Zhaozhao here would only deepen her disdain.

As for his wife, many of the memories had already been replaced by another person. It was better to remember his late wife as a gentle and understanding woman than to have her memory painted only in cold and harsh terms.

He called Zhaozhao aside for a brief conversation.

“I’ve let my daughter down too many times. I hope you love her well. If I die, 70% of my estate will go to Momo. I don’t know much about your background, but I hope you didn’t fall in love with her just for her money. If that’s the case, I swear I will fight with every last breath to make sure you suffer for it.”

His voice quivered with emotion as he spoke. Gazing into Zhaozhao’s eyes, filled with determined and pure feelings, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of inadequacy, as if he needed to flee the situation. He quickly exited the hallway, rushed down the stairs, and returned to his luxury car. Even as the vehicle sped away, his thoughts seemed to linger in the hospital corridor.

Momo kept her circumstances to herself, sharing nothing with anyone, not even Linlin. The day after her mother’s burial, she went to visit Linlin. She still wore that dazzling smile, and she exuded energy as she teased and mocked with playful sarcasm. She also had the strength to share a long, passionate moment with Zhaozhao.

After Momo returned to the country, she didn’t go home or seek out Linlin. She suddenly felt a wave of sadness, even though this was her first time throwing a tantrum. While it was understandable for a woman to act irrationally, she found it difficult to understand this side of herself. Whenever she thought about Zhaozhao, she couldn’t help but curse herself inwardly again.

Here’s what happened: they had originally planned to go to Kilimanjaro together. The tickets and all the necessary arrangements had already been made. Zhaozhao even ordered a full set of climbing equipment online. They just needed to wait for him to finish his academic paper before they could go. Momo’s sudden decision to return home left Zhaozhao bewildered. He placed great importance on this trip-not only because that mountain was the highest peak in Africa, but also because it was the realization of a dream he had planted in his heart since he was a child. Now that it was finally about to happen, she was suddenly saying they weren’t going.

“Why did you suddenly decide to go back? Isn’t it better if we return after climbing Kilimanjaro?” Zhaozhao’s voice held a hint of complaint. For so many years, he had always been gentle, and the frustration in his tone made Momo instinctively look up at him. Her gaze was so strange that Zhaozhao found it difficult to maintain his questioning demeanor, unsure how to respond to the raw inquiry in her eyes.

“I want to go back. If you’re not going, then I’ll just go back by myself!” Without waiting for Zhaozhao’s response, she turned and entered the bedroom, shutting the door and starting to pack her things. She ignored all his explanations and knocks on the door.

Momo couldn’t explain the sudden unease flooding her heart, as if she was about to lose something extremely important. The feeling of being powerless while important people or things slipped away from her was infuriating. That was why she had worked so hard over the years to grow, both in knowledge and experience. She had pushed herself to become strong enough to protect the people she wanted to keep safe, like Linlin, and… her mother.

After she packed, Momo booked a ticket to go home. Originally, Zhaozhao thought she would wait a few more days before leaving. He hadn’t expected that they would share a quiet breakfast at a heavy table that morning, only to come back at noon to find the room empty, without even a note left behind. Everything around him told him she was gone. She could manage without him by her side.

Zhaozhao was seething with anger in the room, sweeping a vase off the coffee table and onto the floor in frustration. Meanwhile, Momo was en route to the airport in a cab, her large sunglasses hiding her moist eyes. Yet, she never let a single tear fall from her beautiful eyes.

It seemed that putting on a brave face had become her habit. In times like this, she was even less willing to show any sign of weakness.

Though Zhaozhao was upset, his mind quickly cleared. After cleaning up the broken vase, he returned to the bedroom to pack his things, preparing to take the soonest flight home. Since they had come to the U.S. together for their studies, he had never let her go back alone. Was she feeling lonely and sad on the plane now?

That stubborn woman, Zhaozhao thought, feeling a warmth in his smile despite himself. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Zhaozhao’s heart raced; was it possible she had returned?

He dashed downstairs and opened the door, only to have the joyous expression on his face vanish instantly. Standing before him was a stunning blonde woman with fair skin, slightly flushed as if she had spent time in the sun. She looked enticing and sexy, her figure perfectly curvy, particularly her prominently elevated chest, which would make any man fantasize for quite a while.

Although he had already been with this woman, guilt for Momo surged within him each time he met Linda, especially after their recent argument and Momo’s departure. If he were to be with Linda now, he simply couldn’t face Momo.

In truth, how many men are truly faithful to their partners, both physically and emotionally? Very few. A man’s nature predisposes him never to settle down with just one person. Even after years of evolution, men often remain driven by primal instincts.

Perhaps he could argue that no man is completely faithful. That saying is undeniably true; no man is without temptation. Zhaozhao would risk everything for Momo, yet he found it hard to resist the fatigue that came from being with someone. He struggled against all the temptations in the world, especially when faced with a beautiful woman who climbed onto his bed without conditions.

On any other day, he might have given in, but this wasn’t the right moment.

He had no interest in it. Pushing the woman away gently, he said coolly, “I’m not feeling well today…”

“What’s wrong?” Linda immediately pressed him.

“Nothing. My wife has gone back to her home country, and I need to return too. Let’s talk about everything when I get back…” After saying this, Zhaozhao turned and walked away. He was typically indifferent to most people; Linda was clearly not among those he felt close to.

A mischievous glint flickered in Linda’s green eyes. Without saying another word, she left. That’s the straightforward nature of American women: if you like someone, you stick around; if you don’t, you move on. With so many men in the world, why cling to a single twisted branch?

But Linda wasn’t merely thinking this way. Perhaps everyone had forgotten about a certain person-the British girl who had appeared at An Jinmo’s parents’ funeral long ago. She had since immigrated to the U.S., and now she was in Zhaozhao’s life. Everything seemed preordained. Sometimes, you cannot escape the seemingly unrelated events that are, in fact, deeply intertwined.

Momo had slept the entire day in the apartment. When she finally woke up, her hair was a mess, and her face was puffy from excessive sleep, particularly her eyes, which looked troubled, as if they had held back too many tears. Anyone could see her distress; she filled a large bathtub with water and sank into it, finding a bit of relief. After a while, she began to groom herself in front of the mirror.

It was hard to tell how long she spent fussing over her appearance. The table was littered with an overwhelming array of cosmetics. Anyone unfamiliar with this world would surely be astonished. All those products were destined for her face. It was simply astonishing how much effort women put into winning a man’s favor; their jealousy came with a hefty price. Here was Momo, already exquisite, beautiful, elegant, and noble, fighting for nearly an hour to restore her previously pristine appearance.

Based on Zhaozhao’s understanding of Momo, she would certainly avoid going home at this moment and wouldn’t seek out Linlin either. After every long-haul flight, her first instinct was always to sleep at home. She simply detested revealing her exhaustion to others.

So, Zhaozhao took the next flight back to Beijing after Momo had left for more than ten hours. Standing at the entrance of the small apartment where they had once lived, he felt a complex mix of emotions, unable to determine whether they were bittersweet or joyful.

He stood at the door with his suitcase for a long time, knowing that Momo was inside but uncertain about what she was doing. She might still be sleeping, or perhaps she was online, or quickly flipping through a thick book. He speculated, but he never imagined that she could be crying. It seemed he had never seen the strong and proud Momo break down in front of him. Was he standing there to apologize? Why was it always him who had to say sorry, even when she was the one being willful and at fault?

At first, love could endure all faults, all pride, even arrogance. However, with time, that patience began to wear thin. It was like a bar of soap-used over time, it gradually shrinks until there’s nothing left.

For Zhaozhao, it seemed he could no longer endure it. Love should be interwoven into the everyday mundane to become something great. Yet, as he stood at the door guessing what Momo might be doing, he didn’t remember how he once would have sacrificed everything for the girl he loved. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to tolerate endless compromises over the long years.

Zhaozhao’s eyes reflected a deep sense of desolation. He stared at the closed door and finally turned to leave. But just as his silhouette was about to disappear down the hallway, Momo opened the door. The corridor, which had been filled only with the sound of his shoes on the floor, suddenly echoed with the soft click of the door.

The two lovers looked at each other. One was weary and worn, with exhaustion etched on his face; the other had on a delicate makeup, with sparkling eyes that revealed vitality. Zhaozhao felt a sharp pang in his heart but closed his eyes, burying all those feelings deep inside. Time seemed to freeze between them as they maintained their initial stances.

“I… I just wanted to come back and check on you,” Zhaozhao said, a hint of melancholy in his voice. He looked somewhat dejected.

In that instant, upon seeing Zhaozhao, Momo felt an overwhelming urge to leap into his embrace and feel that warmth. Over the years, they had rarely been apart. Even when separated, their reunions were filled with excitement and passion. This kind of cold atmosphere rarely appeared between them, and now, suddenly, it hung in the air, leaving them both unsure of what to do.

“Zhaozhao…” Momo seldom called his name. When people are deeply intimate, they rarely use each other’s names. In a love that has become intertwined, additional titles feel meaningless.

“I’m sorry… My stubbornness caused you to miss out on plans for the past six months. It’s my fault. I’ve been feeling anxious lately, sensing something was wrong at home. I had to come back. The last time I chatted with Linlin, I learned that Dad isn’t well…” Momo spoke in a tone of humility that she had rarely used with Zhaozhao. This fragile version of Momo also hadn’t often appeared before him. Her display of weakness now-was it an apology or a sign that she was becoming increasingly significant in his heart?

Zhaozhao couldn’t decipher her motives. Before he could process his thoughts, his subconscious drove him to step forward and pull Momo into a tight embrace. She smelled just as lovely as ever, faintly perfumed, her slender form fitting perfectly against him. He realized he had only ever seen her exterior; he hadn’t considered how strong a woman with such delicate features could truly be.

Was she someone who cried easily? Ha…

That night, they made love tenderly and at a leisurely pace. Time seemed to dissolve like thick cream slowly spilling from a beautiful glass container-sticky yet indulgently sweet.

The next morning, after tidying up a bit, they went their separate ways.

From a young age, Momo had often thought about never returning to this place. Ever since her father’s betrayal of her mother and the tragic accident that left her mother in a vegetative state, this house no longer felt like a home. As a result, she seldom came back. When she did, it was either to her apartment, to see Linlin, or to stay with Zhaozhao. This place had become almost insignificant to her.

Standing here today was merely for her last shred of self-interest. If it weren’t for those interests, she wouldn’t have returned. Since that man had betrayed her mother and was now thinking of handing over what belonged to him and her mother to that woman’s unborn child, how could she possibly endure such an insult?

The villa looked just as it had many years ago. When Momo was young, she loved this house more than any other; it was more beautiful than anyone else’s. She felt immense pride when hosting parties or inviting friends over, believing deep down that she lived in a castle like a princess. For girls born into wealthy families, few exude such a natural confidence that radiates from within, much like Momo’s.

Today, Momo wore a classic CHANEL blazer, stylish trousers, and a pair of black high heels. Approaching from a distance, she exuded an extraordinary presence, especially with her oversized black sunglasses. The innate sophistication she carried was unmistakable. Dressed in this way, she looked both refined and elegant, equally suitable for attending a funeral or a gala. But now, she was simply returning home. Who had ever seen a child going home dressed so formally, as if she were attending a conference?

Momo’s car had always been serviced at a company in the country, so whenever she returned, she drove her eye-catching vehicle around the streets of Beijing without hesitation.

As she pulled up outside, the doorman recognized the car and quickly opened the gate, even without her having to honk. Despite her years away from home, her family still treated her like the little princess she once was, showering her with love and indulgence.

Once inside the gate, Momo opened the car door, stepped out, removed her sunglasses, and tossed her handbag to the welcoming aunt. These familiar actions felt as natural as if she had done them just yesterday, regardless of how much time had passed.

The aunt followed Momo with a smile, chatting, “It’s been so many years, but our Momo is just the same-truly, you haven’t changed at all…”

Hearing the aunt’s words warmed Momo’s heart. She turned around, her previously cold and expressionless face suddenly brightening with a smile. She embraced the aunt tightly and exclaimed, “It’s so nice to have you! You still spoil me just like when I was a child!”

However, as she entered the living room, her warm feelings were abruptly shattered by a disturbing sight. A man in his fifties was lying on the belly of a woman who was only slightly older than he was, exclaiming, “Baby! Baby! I’m your daddy…”

While feeling a pang of sarcasm in her heart, Momo thought perhaps he had spoken to her like that even before she was born, whispering sweet words when she was still in her mother’s belly. Now, he was giving all that affection to someone else. Was she feeling jealousy or a sense of injustice toward her mother? In that moment, she found it hard to distinguish between the two.

“I’m back…” Momo reminded herself to stay strong as she elegantly settled onto the sofa, smiling gracefully.

Momo’s father suddenly heard his daughter’s voice and instinctively jerked his head up. He seemed to feel discomfort and broke into a severe cough. In his fifties now, years of dealing with various characters in the business world had taken a toll on his health, especially with his habits of smoking and drinking. Even a light cough turned his face an alarming shade of red. The devastating cough made Momo’s heart ache, and she instinctively started to move toward him, only to be replaced by the young woman next to him, who was watching with a smug expression.

Feeling a pang of bitterness, Momo restrained herself from proceeding.

“Dad, I’m mainly back to discuss immigration matters, and also… I’m married now.”

She preferred to be direct, avoiding elaborate explanations or leading up to a point.

Upon hearing this, her father coughed even more violently. He pushed his rather heavy body against the beautiful young woman beside him, a pairing that made Momo feel nauseous.

“Married! … Married! Momo! You really have the audacity!” He momentarily forgot his cough, standing up and slamming his hand on the table, his anger looking oddly appealing to Momo in that moment.

The blatant provocation in her eyes pained the middle-aged man, realizing how much hatred his woman felt for his daughter.

“I’m just here to inform you. And let me also say, even though mom is still lying in the hospital, what you’re doing is despicable to me. Being with a woman just a few years older than you must feel great, right? Why don’t you see that without money, who would want you? I’m genuinely curious how she could be so shameless!”

Momo stood up, suddenly losing her composure, pointing at the woman who had been looking at her with a provocative gaze and began to yell at her. Her father’s round eyes widened, especially upon hearing such words directed at him.

This aging father took a few steps toward his daughter, watching the mocking smile on her face and the coldness in her eyes, his anger boiling over.

“Say that again…” he growled through clenched teeth.

“I can say it a thousand times if needed. She’s shameless… and so are you!” The last word coincided with Momo’s father’s slap.

Suddenly, the living room fell completely silent. The aunt, holding Momo’s favorite fruits and a freshly made milk tea, stood frozen, taken aback by the scene. The woman who had been arrogantly staring at Momo now appeared even more emboldened, smiling with a mocking gentleness at the unfolding drama. However, Momo’s father was too consumed by his anger to notice any of this; it was all captured in Momo’s observant gaze.

Momo seemed to have anticipated that a slap would come, so she chose not to continue shouting or humiliating her father.

She grabbed her handbag and turned to leave. The aunt opened her mouth, wanting to stop her, but no words came out. She ultimately gave up.

As Momo’s figure disappeared from view, a heavy silence engulfed the room. The heartbroken father retreated to his study, not emerging until nightfall. This so-called home fell into a profound stillness.

Later that night, when Momo returned to her apartment, Zhaozhao was already in the shower. When he stepped out and saw the marks on her face, his heart ached. He went over, embraced her, and offered comfort.

“Actually, I’m okay. I might have overreacted today.”

“What’s done is done; you did nothing wrong… Just try to let it go. We’ll visit mom at the hospital tomorrow.”

“Okay…”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms that night. In what started as a normal evening, everything suddenly turned chaotic and disordered.

Momo, who typically turned her phone off at night, forgot to do so this evening. When the phone rang, she instinctively curled up in Zhaozhao’s embrace. He reached for the phone on the bedside table and answered it.

“Is this a family member of Ms. Liang Feng?”

“Yes, may I ask what this is about?” Zhaozhao replied, knowing that Momo’s mother was named Liang Feng. He figured that such a late call must be serious.

“Hello, I’m a nurse from Beijing xxxxx Hospital. The patient’s condition has suddenly worsened and may be life-threatening. You need to come immediately. We originally tried calling Mr. Su, but his phone hasn’t been reachable.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible. Please do everything you can to save her!”

Zhaozhao’s voice startled Momo awake.

Her eyes were hollow and sad, tears welling up.

“I dreamed that mom was gone!” Momo cried out, fear washing over her as she buried herself deeper into Zhaozhao’s embrace. At that moment, she looked utterly fragile.