Sunshine Filled with Thoughts

When did their fate begin? It was when he stood shyly next to Momo, his head lowered and his face flushed. He was wearing a stage costume, resembling a little prince from a story. Momo, on the other hand, was dressed in a long black gown, fitting for a sorceress. It was at this moment that the love between the sorceress and the prince began.

They were eight years old that year. Momo’s proud little face radiated an air of nobility. Despite her young age, her innate regal quality made the shy boy, Zhaozhao, unable to look her in the eye.

“You’re the Zhaozhao from the Zhao Family, right? This time, your class won against ours,” Momo said.

“Um…” Zhaozhao’s voice was barely audible, weak like a mosquito. Momo detested boys like him. Seeing this pathetic guy win against her made her very angry. She turned and walked away, her long black hair styled into beautiful braids. As she stormed off, her hair whipped back and forth, leaving a deep impression on Zhaozhao.

After that, Momo quickly won other drama competitions. Perhaps it was the nature of being overly concerned with what was lost. Momo often thought about Zhaozhao, who, although shy, had beaten her, whenever she triumphed in a competition.

After the autumn drama festival, to reward their daughter’s success, Momo’s parents held a modest party. Naturally, Momo was forbidden from drinking alcohol. Glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice were served, and she played with her friends. Zhaozhao held Linlin’s hand, standing by the pond in Momo’s backyard, throwing stones.

At that time, they were still very young. Linlin was closest to two people: Xiao Zhi and Zhaozhao. She did not enjoy attending such events. At that moment, Linlin and Momo did not yet know each other. They were merely acquaintances who acknowledged each other with nods. Even when their families forced them to mingle with other wealthy kids, they were not fond of it. But the reasons for this dislike were different. Linlin didn’t like playing with other kids because they looked down on Xiao Zhi, while Momo had always thought deep down that she was a queen, believing no one was worthy enough to play with her.

Because Momo had begun to focus too much on Zhaozhao, her intentional approach and constant observation of him led to a growing disdain for the girl who often wore pink bubble dresses and was always by his side. However, to get closer to Zhaozhao, Momo had already learned how to employ her own strategies to obtain what she wanted. Momo quickly became acquainted with Linlin, and soon, in various situations where there were children, Momo, Zhaozhao, and Linlin were always together. They mostly stuck close to each other.

This dynamic persisted until they were fifteen, and although Momo hadn’t yet confessed her feelings for Zhaozhao, their relationship remained consistent. Before that, Momo increasingly relied on Linlin, especially after Xiao Zhi had an incident. During that tough time, Momo was always by Linlin’s side. Only Momo could understand the sadness and pain Linlin felt. Later, during their rebellious phase, it was still Momo who stayed close to Linlin.

As time passed, their friendship deepened, but at times, Zhaozhao found their bond hard to understand.

Many years later, when Zhaozhao and Momo graduated early, Linlin was still struggling through middle school. At the age of fifteen, Linlin moved to Beijing to attend the best high school, while Momo and Zhaozhao went to study in America. It was in America that their feelings for each other began to blossom. However, they faced discrimination, and Momo, with her striking looks, was even harassed by some Black classmates and was once confronted by a group of White girls demanding money at a street corner. The many challenges they faced in America were only bearable because they supported each other.

Both of them enjoyed adventure. America was a land of freedom, where everyone could pursue their interests, and during their time there, Momo and Zhaozhao participated in almost every adventure organized by their school’s expedition team.

In Momo’s heart, one of the dreams she held dear was to spend her life with Zhaozhao, especially during their adventure in a little valley in America.

However, during their exploration, Momo’s period began, accompanied by severe cramps, causing her to fall behind as they walked. Zhaozhao stayed right by her side, looking after her.

As it turned out, there was no signal on the phone, and they lost contact with the group. That night, Momo and Zhaozhao held each other close as they slept, finally waking up the next morning. Momo looked pale, almost drained of color. The morning wind was strong, especially in the valley. Zhaozhao took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. They planned to retrace their steps and wait back at the base for the others to return. Zhaozhao had always been a quiet person, often saying very little during their time together. He never voiced his issues when he was bullied; many times, if Momo hadn’t stepped in, it was hard to say what might have happened. Yet, this gentle and seemingly accommodating person left Momo feeling insecure throughout the two years they were together. It wasn’t until after this incident that she realized some of Zhaozhao’s feelings didn’t need to be expressed verbally. If she paid close attention, she would see the depth of his love.

They set out early in the morning while it was still gray, retracing their earlier path. Although Momo felt better, she still was a bit weak; menstrual cramps could really take a toll on a woman. Zhaozhao carried both their backpacks on his shoulders and held onto Momo with one arm using a sturdy stick. They walked for an undetermined length of time until the sky cleared, and the sun’s heat intensified. Momo felt overwhelmed and wanted to take a break, but the path they were on was narrow and treacherous; one wrong step could lead to danger.

In the end, disaster struck. Momo approached a cliff and tried to maneuver sideways to get past it, but suddenly her feet slipped beneath her. She was thrown off balance.

Zhaozhao, quick on his feet, managed to grab hold of Momo’s arm and began to pull her up with all his might. However, with two heavy backpacks weighing him down and after such a lengthy trek, his strength was waning. Just managing to hold onto her arm was an achievement; figuring out how to pull her back up required some serious thought.

Zhaozhao’s mind raced as he searched for a solution.

Momo screamed, “Let go of me! I’m just a burden at this point. If you don’t let go, I’ll drag you down with me. I don’t want to die like this!”

Momo had always been more rational than emotional. This trait had been evident since her childhood. She remembered sitting coldly at her grandfather’s funeral in her first year of high school as if she were observing a somber play. It felt as if she had no connection to it at all, despite loving her grandfather dearly. Even when faced with the death of someone closest to her, she wore light makeup and appeared at that solemn occasion with the elegance that she prided herself on.

At that moment, when life and death hung in the balance, Momo’s first thought was to ensure the best possible outcome. If she couldn’t be pulled up, then Zhaozhao should at least live on. She loved him so much, and her priority was to let him survive. If he didn’t let go, there was a real chance that as she fell, he would go down with her.

“Let go of me!” Momo shouted.

Despite having urged him numerous times, Zhaozhao remained silent, gritting his teeth but not responding to her.

They remained in a standoff for what felt like an eternity. Momo could feel her arm gradually slipping from his grip. With the most pleading tone she could muster, she gently implored, “Please let me go, Zhaozhao…”

He still did not speak, but his gaze deepened.

Inside those eyes lay the resolve characteristic of a man, despite the fact that they were only seventeen or eighteen-still so immature.

Suddenly, a smile appeared on Momo’s lips. She reached up and removed a silver hairpin that she often wore. It was the token of love from her grandfather to her grandmother, something she had carried with her always. With her other hand, she plunged it fiercely into Zhaozhao’s arm.

Time seemed to freeze in that instant, surrounded by the mist wafting up from the valley and Zhaozhao’s tears. The blend of tears and blood on Momo’s hands blurred her senses, making it hard to distinguish one from the other.

He tightened his grip on Momo’s arm, holding on even more desperately. It was as if he was using every ounce of strength to hold onto his deepest convictions. For years, Zhaozhao’s love had rarely been spoken aloud, and this gesture shattered Momo’s heart and brought forth her tears in an instant. In that moment, the only thought that ran through her mind was that if she survived this, she would never leave Zhaozhao. He was someone she would never give up on in her lifetime.

Momo fell silent as tears streamed down her cheeks. Zhaozhao did not say a word but continued to endure the strain. They had no idea how much time had passed until the members of their team, returning to look for them, finally arrived and found Momo and Zhaozhao. They were pulled to safety.

Their friends, upon seeing the blood on Zhaozhao’s arm, couldn’t help but admire him, while the girls envied Momo for having such a loving boyfriend. After surviving their ordeal, Zhaozhao and Momo embraced tightly for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, birds took flight in the valley, their wings fluttering as if celebrating or perhaps offering a prayer. Momo had made a silent vow to cherish and entrust her life to the man before her. And Zhaozhao, from the very beginning, had been captivated by this girl who loved to put on airs; he felt confident that his love for her would last forever.

Once they returned to Los Angeles, they devoted themselves wholeheartedly to their studies. For the next couple of years, they didn’t travel again. Momo bought a house in the suburbs of Los Angeles, while Zhaozhao got a car. This made their immigration process much smoother, and they didn’t worry too much about those logistics.

At the age of eighteen, they began living together in a charming little town in Los Angeles. It was a beautiful place surrounded by lush trees, where birds sang cheerfully outside their window every morning. The residents here were mostly elderly; the Smiths next door were particularly friendly and had invited them over several times. Every morning, they would wake up with the sunlight and jog around the woods, whether in a full or half circle, before enjoying breakfast at a quaint café in town. They would chat about interesting things happening around them, and the locals welcomed the two Chinese newcomers with open arms. They even eagerly encouraged Zhaozhao to share some fun stories about China.

Zhaozhao talked animatedly about candied hawthorns and Peking duck, igniting a sense of adventure and curiosity about China among the café patrons. After their lively discussions, Momo would take Zhaozhao’s hand, and they would stroll through the cobblestone streets of the town, seemingly never tiring of the walk. Momo had never lived such a serene and uncomplicated life with a man, akin to sipping plain water, but here, as she began this new life, a deep sense of attachment started to grow within her. The rational Momo found herself captivated by love. Sometimes, she would wake up in the morning and gaze at Zhaozhao’s closed eyes, his handsome face adorned with innocence. Here was an exceptional man who loved her, and contentment began to take root in her heart. She envisioned living in this peaceful place forever, until death.

They originally came here just to find a quiet place to work on their theses. After all, such a leisurely life wouldn’t be something they could experience many more times in the future. Perhaps they would return here when they were older.

Aside from enjoying this poetic lifestyle, they spent most of their time in their respective studies, reading and working on their papers. Sometimes they would disappear for three hours at a time, and when Momo occasionally emerged to refill her water, she would see the light on in the room next door where Zhaozhao was working. She would wonder if she should go over and make him a cup of coffee, but then she remembered that she had always been the one on the receiving end. She had never poured water for anyone else.

After dismissing that thought, Momo pulled her large shawl back up onto her shoulders, wrapping it tightly around her slender frame. She turned and stepped back into her study, preparing to think about how to approach the introduction of her paper using different methods or perhaps come up with a better idea.

That evening, after finishing a section of her thesis, Momo stretched and thought about checking in on Zhaozhao. However, as she began to rise, she suddenly felt a hand pressing down on her shoulder. The long, beautiful fingers carried a familiar warmth. Momo instinctively relaxed into her chair, turning her head to look at Zhaozhao. From that angle, she could see his face glowing under the light, adorned with a sparkling smile, particularly the inviting dimple that appeared when he smiled, drawing her in like a magnet. Momo reached out to touch Zhaozhao’s face, and that familiar warmth and comfort filled her tired heart all at once. How wonderful it was to have someone who loved her so deeply.

She stood up and leaped into Zhaozhao’s embrace, mustering all her strength to press her lips against his. After living in America for so long, they had done everything they were supposed to do and not supposed to do. There was nothing to be shy about now; their future together was already visible. So, they didn’t care about the conventional boundaries anymore.

In their small apartment in America, they had tried various positions and scenarios, but they rarely did anything in the study. Arriving in this little town, they hadn’t yet explored that possibility in this room. This time, it felt genuinely thrilling.

The bright lights in the room had been turned on to facilitate their thesis work, creating an almost blinding brightness that made the modest study appear exceptionally radiant. Especially the beams of light that fell upon them; for any typical woman, it might induce shyness and confusion.

But Momo was not a typical woman. She was still young at that moment. Though her body hadn’t fully opened up, under the lights, her smooth, shining skin and curly, flaxen hair looked temptingly beautiful. Her figure was also impressive, particularly her flat stomach, pronounced breasts, and long, graceful neck. In that bright light, everything about her was alluring. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, initially standing in the room. However, Zhaozhao soon felt a bit unsteady and had to sit down in the chair.