Sunshine Filled with Thoughts - Chapter 30 - Memories Like Ashes 5

An Jinmo knew that there would be many challenges to face the next morning, so it was best to get a good night’s sleep. Meanwhile, Linlin was restless in her dreams, dreaming of painful moments shared with Na Xuan. The pain felt so real, and she wished it were different. With regret swirling in her mind, she eventually fell asleep.

This hotel was located in the suburbs, a little distance from the city center, but not too far. From the presidential suite, one could see many skyscrapers dotting the skyline. The broad view of the Beijing suburbs stretched out before them. The sun was rising over the nearby hills, slowly illuminating the earth.

The curtains were drawn, yet the light still filtered through the gaps, invading Linlin’s senses. She didn’t know why she woke up so early; perhaps it was the pain in her body or the hangover that made her head throb. This morning greeted her with discomfort, both in her heart and her body. She opened her eyes, feeling sore and unfamiliar with her surroundings. She noticed the strange bed and turned slightly, sensing something under her neck. It felt like an arm. Suddenly, she realized she was bare under a bathrobe. Rubbing her eyes, she focused on the face that was very close to hers-An Jinmo. Linlin screamed.

“Ah!!!!!!!”

The scream shattered the morning’s tranquility, abruptly breaking the silence in the room.

An Jinmo, stirred by the sound, slowly awakened. Upon seeing Linlin’s terrified expression, he recognized the look in her eyes-it felt like she was staring at the most despicable person in the world. Hatred, disgust, fear, and a whirlwind of complex emotions flooded her tear-filled eyes.

Unsure of how to respond, An Jinmo sat up, meeting Linlin’s gaze. They stared at each other, neither willing to speak first.

As time passed, Linlin’s body grew colder, and her heart turned icy as well. She wanted to kill the man before her. So many resentments filled her heart. It was about the man who had ruined her, about the impossibility of her future with Na Xuan, about a world that opposed her love.

With her thoughts spiraling, she suddenly lunged forward, gripping An Jinmo’s throat with such force that it seemed she wanted to take them both down together. She had nothing left to hold back. She wanted to kill him and then end her own life.

Linlin’s mind was in a rage; all she wanted was revenge-for her purity, for what was most precious to her, which had been violently ripped away by the man in front of her.

An Jinmo hadn’t fully processed what was happening before Linlin had his throat in her grip. Almost instinctively, he thrust his hands out and hurled her away. She fell from the bed to the thick Persian carpet, and while it didn’t hurt, tears still streamed down her face.

She launched herself at him again, her intent to drag him down with her rekindled by An Jinmo’s presence.

An Jinmo was genuinely angry now; the compassion he felt for her was replaced by rage at this woman who wanted his life.

He threw her to the ground once more, standing over her like a towering monarch. Looking down at her, he said, “What are you trying to accomplish? Is it really worth it? Just over a night together? Do you want me dead? Is it really necessary?”

His voice was chillingly indifferent, sounding to Linlin like that of a demon.

He was a demon.

“I hate you! An Jinmo! I wish you were dead! If you needed a woman, why not find a call girl? Why did you have to ruin me? I was supposed to marry Na Xuan! You destroyed everything! It’s all gone! Everything is gone!” Linlin’s voice was sharp and piercing; she used every ounce of strength to express her dissatisfaction with An Jinmo.

Despite his intention to disregard her cutting words, the moment she spoke them, An Jinmo felt a twinge of pain in his heart. Still, his expression remained unchanged.

He looked at her, said nothing more, and headed straight to the bathroom.

Sitting on the floor, Linlin looked utterly disheveled. Suddenly, she broke down in tears. An Jinmo felt a pang of pain in his heart upon hearing her cries.

Was being with me really that awful?

After getting dressed, An Jinmo stood before Linlin and said, “I’m ready to leave. I advise you not to tell your parents. You’re twenty now; you should know what to say and what not to. Besides, I brought you out of the birthday party. If your parents hadn’t allowed it, could I have done that? Don’t even think about trying to sue me; do you honestly believe you have a chance? Linlin, I care for you-I truly do-and I’m ready to take responsibility. If you hate me so much, then marry me. Then, in our future married life, you can torment me as much as you want.”

When An Jinmo said these words, he was extraordinarily calm, and Linlin found him terrifying. Her sharp voice cut through the air, “An Jinmo! I wish you were dead! I would never marry you! Never!”

Hearing her response, An Jinmo couldn’t help but furrow his brow, a fleeting sadness flashing in his eyes. He remained silent and turned to leave. As his hand rested on the doorknob, he suddenly added, “You can’t wear your clothes anymore; I’ll have someone buy some for you and send them over immediately. If you don’t want to go home, you can stay here for now. As for Na Xuan… you should give up on that dream. You two will never be together.”

An Jinmo’s words filled Linlin with despair. For a moment, she considered ending it all, but then his next words snuffed out her fleeting hope.

“…Think about your parents. If you were to die, countless people would follow you in sorrow. I wouldn’t mind if a few less people were in this world. Linlin, you’ve seen far too little of what I’m capable of…”

An Jinmo knew that if he didn’t shamelessly voice these thoughts, Linlin would go to any lengths. Such an extreme girl would use extreme measures to cling to life.

She slumped on the ground, as if she had lost all her strength. This fragile side of her had never been seen before.

Linlin’s emotions were more complicated than ever. She watched as An Jinmo disappeared through the door without a backward glance, and she felt as if she had lost everything-everything had vanished.