Misaligned Love - Chapter 2

Xiao Huai doesn’t like me, and I’ve always known that.

We met too early. The image of me with a buzz cut, running around in a little vest, tanned dark by the sun, is deeply rooted in his mind. Even through middle school, I maintained a tomboyish appearance, so to him, I was always that skinny kid from the neighbor’s house, with even my gender being somewhat ambiguous.

Even after I grew my hair long in high school and my developed figure was praised by many, his impression of me remained unchanged.

The most recent time I felt defeated was probably when I accidentally overheard him talking about me with Chen Qi, casually joking, “You mean Yao Jin? Even rabbits know not to eat the grass by their burrow.”

Yet despite all this, I could only stand silently at the door with breakfast in hand, adjust my mood, and then pretend nothing was wrong as I walked in.

I was afraid that if I confronted it, even the last bit of connection I had with him would be severed.

I was so humble that even I found it laughable.

A few days ago, I walked into Xiao Huai’s room and found Chen Qi wrapped only in a towel.

She had just come out of the bathroom, her long hair still dripping, her bare shoulders smooth and fair, looking much purer without makeup.

We stared at each other, her face showing a flash of shock before she let out a short scream and hid behind Xiao Huai.

The master bedroom door was still open, the inside dim and suggestive.

I could vaguely smell a nauseating salty scent in the air.

Xiao Huai, oh Xiao Huai, the boy I’ve liked for ten years, had been with another girl today.

Although she seemed flustered, we both knew the one truly embarrassed was me.

Maintaining the last bit of dignity, I calmly handed over the phone, “Auntie couldn’t reach you and was worried, so she called me.”

Xiao Huai glanced at me, his face showing little emotion, took the phone, and walked aside, “Hello? Mom, I’m here.”

He didn’t care about my feelings.

I lowered my gaze slightly, avoiding eye contact with her.

This was the girl who, for a whole month, entered Xiao Huai’s house every morning and left only around six or seven in the evening. Occasionally, when she ran into me, she would smile and greet me.

In the past, he never allowed girls to come and go from his house. I was an exception, but now even that sole exception was gone.

Perhaps out of jealousy, I always felt that her smile carried a hint of sarcasm and pride.

Should I be grateful she didn’t stay overnight at his place?

That’s what I thought back then.

I didn’t expect to be proven wrong so quickly.

After finishing the call with his mom, Xiao Huai handed the phone back to me, explaining, “Didn’t notice the phone had shut off automatically.”

“Okay.” I made sure not to show too much expression, speaking in a normal tone, “Then I’ll be going.”

Xiao Huai looked at me for a moment, his expression hard to read, “Alright.”

I turned to leave, but Chen Qi called out to me.

She hesitated a bit, “I drank too much last night, and my clothes smell bad. I don’t want to wear them. Can I borrow an outfit from you?”

She curved her lips into a smile, “I think we’re about the same size.”

I paused, then turned back with a smile, “Sure.”

After returning home, I sat in the dim room for a long time. I don’t really want to recall how I spent that day, only knowing that when a person is truly powerless, there’s not much desire to cry. I was well aware of what it meant for a girl to shower at a single man’s house. I didn’t want to imagine what had happened between them, or how it happened, but those fragments and images kept flooding into my mind. By the time I came to my senses, my palms were already bruised from my own grip.

Looking at the overlapping nail marks in my palm, I suddenly felt very, very sad.

After that, I decided to let go.

I even considered leaving this city.

But who would have thought that just a couple of days later, Xiao Huai would get into a car accident.

…

When I woke up, it was already evening. I groggily lifted my head, rubbing my sore arms, “Where’s Chen Qi?”

Xiao Huai didn’t seem to be in a good mood, his words brief, “Gone.”

I was still pondering whether they had a fight when I saw Xiao Huai close his laptop and pinch the bridge of his nose, “Get the bedpan from under the bed for me.”

I was taken aback for a moment, “Oh… okay.”

Xiao Huai lifted the blanket, revealing his blue and white striped hospital pants.

I dared not look, “Do you need me to step out?”

He gave a half-smile.

“Up to you.”