I Am Not a Master - Chapter 68

Jingxing immediately noticed the Long-haired Woman, as she stood out among the crowd. After all, it’s rare to find someone who can calmly munch on a chicken leg amidst such chaos.

He was taken aback by the scene: a room full of people and ghosts, some crying their hearts out, others chanting prayers, with countless voices talking over each other, some floating, some standing. It was indeed a spectacular sight!

Jingkong asked, “What’s going on here?”

Jingxing shook his head, “No idea.”

“Shifu, what should we do now?”

“Do what we must.” “…” That was as good as saying nothing.

Once Jingxing and Jingkong entered the room, they realized the chaos was all thanks to a single sentence from the Long-haired Woman. Her words had completely shattered Third Yu, leading to his earth-shattering, heart-wrenching cries.

Seeing Jingxing and Jingkong return, Third Yu became even more agitated, rushing over to Jingxing, “Young monk, didn’t you say my father forgave me and didn’t hate me? But she said my father doesn’t want to see me and gets annoyed just looking at me. Boohoo… I let my father down, I really did!”

Jingxing silently glanced at the Long-haired Woman, who nodded in agreement, as if to say: That’s right, that’s exactly what happened.

Third Yu cried even louder.

Jingxing: “…”

Second Yu helplessly tried to console him, “All you do is cry, cry, cry. How does it help anyone? Even Dad wouldn’t feel good seeing you like this. Take a break.”

First Yu added, “Yeah, Third Yu, stop crying. What Jingxing said must be true, and as for her…” He cautiously eyed the Long-haired Woman, “What she says might not be true, right? We don’t even know who she is.”

Third Yu replied, “But I clearly saw a chicken leg fly into her hand earlier. It must have been Dad who gave it to her. How could that be fake?”

First Yu was stumped by the question, as he too had witnessed the flying chicken leg.

Jingxing: “…??”

Wait a minute, a flying chicken leg? He couldn’t help but look at the Long-haired Woman and the ghosts holding chicken legs behind her, including Old Master Yu. They all looked innocently at him, with an obedient demeanor.

“Young monk, don’t misunderstand. It wasn’t me. I didn’t grab a chicken leg in front of everyone!”

“Not me either. I’m just a Little Ghost; I can’t even hold a chicken leg.”

“…Hmm, maybe it was the chicken leg’s fault.”

“…”

He silently turned his gaze away.

Third Yu continued to lament, “I know, even though Big Brother and Second Brother say they don’t blame me, and that Dad’s death wasn’t my fault, you’re still angry with me. Angry that I was blind enough to marry a venomous woman who killed Dad! It’s me, it’s all my fault! It’s my fault!”

First Yu and Second Yu exchanged a glance and sighed helplessly. They couldn’t completely absolve Third Yu of blame, as Gong Sisi was his wife, and naturally, there would be some resentment. But despite any feelings, they were still blood brothers, with decades of familial bonds. Could such ties be severed so easily? After venting and fighting, they were still brothers. Brothers don’t hold grudges overnight.

As the conversation continued, even First Yu and Second Yu found their eyes reddening, wiping away tears.

“Big brother, why are you crying too?”

“I’m not crying, it’s just some dust in my eyes.”

“Alright, alright, everyone stop crying, or people will laugh at us.”

“You’re telling me not to cry, but look at yourself!”

“Waah, waah…”

And just like that, Gu Feiyin, without lifting a finger, had managed to make three grown men cry!

The Yu Family’s three brothers clung to each other, sobbing so loudly it seemed they might bring the roof down.

Old Master Yu looked at the Long Black Straight Hair with a face as pale as a ghost: …

The wandering spirits glanced at the crying men on the floor, then at Old Master Yu, and finally at young monk Jingxing: …

Jingxing looked at the Long-haired Woman, who was holding a chicken leg, her unfocused eyes seemingly looking in his direction, yet not really seeing him. Her eyes were as dark and pure as a moonless night sky.

At that moment, she was nibbling on the chicken leg, looking quite content. Despite her seemingly poor eyesight, her hearing was sharp, and she said, “Yu, why are you just standing there? Look, two more are crying now, and they’re crying so hard. Why aren’t you trying to comfort them?”

Yu lowered his chin, rolling his eyes at the Long Black Straight Hair.

Jingxing: “…”

The wandering spirits: “…”

Zhen Du, who was chanting: “…”

No matter how much they cried, Old Master Yu did not appear to meet them.

The Yu Family’s three brothers cried until their eyes were swollen, eventually calming down. Although they hadn’t seen their old man, the knots in their hearts had loosened somewhat. The grievances and frustrations they had bottled up were released through their tears, bringing them some relief.

Even First Yu and Second Yu’s resentment towards Third Yu had faded a bit. After all, the one suffering the most was Third Yu. The events had already transpired, and blaming each other wouldn’t bring any benefit.

…

Lunch was a grand affair. Besides the fish and meat, the Yu Family had prepared special vegetarian dishes for the young monk.

They wanted to ensure the Master and esteemed guests were well taken care of. As lunchtime approached, they all went to the kitchen with red eyes to bring the food to the table. The large round table, which could seat ten, now had only the Long-haired Woman sitting there. They watched her sit there boldly, eating away with her bowl and chopsticks, occasionally asking if their father had anything else to say. They wanted to sit down too, but every time they tried, they felt a chill on their backs. The Long-haired Woman would politely inform them, “Sorry, there’s a ghost here.”

After trying five or six different seats, they finally settled at the far end of the table. Even then, they felt uneasy, whispering about how many ghosts were in the room. Were they all friends of their old man?

“Yes, they are all Yu’s friends. Yu invited us to join for the meal.”

The Long-haired Woman grinned at them with a sinister look, revealing her jagged teeth. Those white teeth looked sharp enough to bite off their necks.

Even though these were guests of their old man, they couldn’t help but feel a chill of fear.

As the dishes were laid out on the table, Gu Feiyin, unable to see clearly, wisely chose not to struggle. Instead, she earnestly asked the young ghost at the table for help, “Yu, what dishes are here? Could you tell me? My vision’s a bit blurry.”

“…How about some bamboo shoots with beef…and maybe some potatoes with pork intestines? Thanks.”

“Yu, could you please get me a bowl of chicken soup? I need something to warm my stomach.”

“Yu, another piece of steamed fish, please. This fish is delicious.”

“Yu, I didn’t expect your family’s meal to be so lavish.”

“Hehe, it’s tasty.”

The Yu Family brothers watched in astonishment as the tableful of chicken, duck, and fish flew back and forth. The Long-haired Woman was eating with no restraint, her mouth glistening with oil. Whatever she mentioned wanting to eat would instantly fly from one end of the table to her bowl. Behind her, a coffin exuding eerie Yin Energy added to the unsettling atmosphere.

In stark contrast was the look of contentment on the Long-haired Woman’s face. Meanwhile, at a small square table, three young monks were eating plain rice and vegetarian dishes, not a hint of meat in sight. The scene was so striking that it seemed intentional, as if they were deliberately favoring the Long Black Straight Hair while being strict with the young monks.

Yu Family brothers: …

First Yu took a deep breath, his voice still thick with emotion, trembling slightly as he spoke, “I feel like all the books I’ve read were for nothing. This world isn’t scientific at all.”

Second Yu nodded vigorously, “Exactly, not scientific at all!”

Third Yu blinked his swollen eyes, his dark face full of confusion, “Is that flying braised pork being served by our dad? Dad’s working hard!”

First Yu: …

Second Yu: …

Though the brothers spoke quietly, the ghosts had sharp ears and burst into laughter, “Old Master Yu, your kids are quite adorable.”

“Just a bit too fond of crying, it’s giving me a headache.”

“Wow, this braised pork smells amazing, you should try it.”

“Where? I want some too!”

Jingkong held his bowl, unable to resist glancing over at the Long-haired Shizhu. He watched her with a mix of admiration and surprise for a while and finally asked his senior, “Shifu, who is that Long-haired Shizhu? She can actually see ghosts and even converse with them as if there are no barriers, dining at the same table. Isn’t that astonishing?”

Jingxing glanced over just in time to see Old Master Yu placing a piece of braised pork into the Long-haired Woman’s bowl. He remained expressionless, giving a slight nod and took a bite of his greens, “Eat your meal, no need for idle chatter.”

Feeling a bit disheartened, Jingkong touched his nose, hurriedly ate a few bites of his rice, and then turned to Zhen Du, who was seriously indulging in his meal. He couldn’t help but say, “Shifu Zhen Du, don’t you find it strange?”

At that moment, Zhen Du was earnestly eating. He always took his meals seriously, afraid that he might choke. The vegetables with rice were delicious-savory and still warm. He could eat three big bowls in one go. Hearing Jingkong’s question, he carefully responded, “Strange? What’s strange about it?”

Jingkong said, “It’s just that, the strange Shizhu and those spirits. I’ve never heard of someone getting along so well with ghosts. She seems not to be scared at all. She’s really courageous.”

Zhen Du looked at the Long-haired Shizhu, who was earnestly eating, and then at the table full of peculiar little ghosts, nodding in agreement, “Hmm, this is indeed the first time I’ve seen such a scene.”

Jingkong felt like he had found a kindred spirit and whispered, “Exactly, I told you it’s strange. How can a person not be afraid of ghosts, yet still manage to dine with them?”

Zhen Du took another bite of rice, wanting to explain that although spirits can be frightening, like humans, they also have their own temperaments and preferences. If they get along, they can coexist peacefully. This Long-haired Shizhu seemed to really get along with the ghosts.

As he was thinking, his throat suddenly tightened, and a mouthful of rice got stuck, causing him to choke. His face turned red as the bowl and chopsticks clattered to the floor! Jingkong and Jingxing were startled and quickly turned to Zhen Du, only then realizing he was choking on his rice!

Just yesterday, Zhen Du had arrived at Baiyu Temple, and they had heard about his unusual fate-plagued by misfortune and haunted by bad luck from a young age, facing countless calamities. They never expected he could choke while eating.

Hearing the commotion, the three Yu brothers rushed over, asking anxiously, “What’s wrong? What happened? Is it an old illness or a new sudden ailment?”

What! Choked while eating?

“How could he choke? Quickly, call a doctor!”

“Should he drink some water to flush it down?”

“His face is all red, would drinking water cause him to choke more? Wasn’t there some emergency procedure that was popular before? Try that!”

“What emergency procedure? I have no idea!”

Zhen Du, turning pale, managed to say that you shouldn’t talk, let your mind wander, or look around while eating; otherwise, you wouldn’t know how you might die.

Gu Feiyin also heard the noise and came over with her cane, stretching her neck to see. Even the lonely spirits and stray ghosts that were drinking nearby came over to see what was happening, asking the young monk what was wrong. “Choked while eating?”

Zhen Du was too faint to utter a word.

Jingkong was frozen in place, unsure what to do, while Jingxing quickly stood up and patted Zhen Du’s back, hoping to help him catch his breath. Meanwhile, the Yu brothers were calling doctors and fetching water, frantically running around.

Seeing no improvement, Gu Feiyin had a flash of inspiration and grabbed a lonely ghost’s hand, saying, “Quick, help out, reach in and pull the rice out of his throat!”

Pull it out?

No, no, that won’t work! How could you possibly do that?

Gu Feiyin said, “Just reach in and scoop it out, how else?”

Thinking back to the times she’d gotten a fishbone stuck in her throat, Gu Feiyin remembered how she used to just reach in and pull it out herself. This was like a bigger fishbone, and while it might be tricky for a person to handle, ghosts were different. They didn’t have physical bodies, but if they focused their energy, they could interact with the physical world. All it took was concentrating their ghostly energy at their fingertips when reaching into the throat, right?

Jingkong: “…???”

Jingxing: “…!!!”

The Yu Family brothers: “…”

The wandering ghost caught by Gu Feiyin: “…”

Zhen Du was on the verge of suffocation, looking at the Long-haired Shizhu with terror. He really didn’t want a ghost to reach down his throat!

Everyone present was dumbfounded. What kind of method was this, using a ghost to do it?

The ghost that Gu Feiyin had grabbed looked like a duck being pushed onto a stage, hesitant and scared. Old Master Yu was anxious, urging them to hurry. If the ghost was too scared, he would do it himself, but being a newly-formed ghost, it was still difficult for him to interact with the physical world. Besides, he’d just spent so much effort grabbing a chicken leg, and now he was just as worried.

The little ghosts were almost in tears. “I’m scared! Can I not do it? Can we switch ghosts?”

“No, no, I’m too scared… it’s terrifying.”

“If you don’t do it, the young monk will choke to death! If you won’t, I will!”

The speaker was a male ghost, rolling up his sleeves with a look of heroic determination.

Gu Feiyin patted his shoulder. “Go for it!”

“Don’t worry, Master, I’ve got this!”

The wandering ghosts and Yu were all tense, their gray-white eyes wide and necks craned forward, watching intently. They were so focused that tears of blood nearly flowed, making them look even more eerie.

Zhen Du: …

Jingxing watched as a little ghost extended a pale, rigid hand. Its hand was ethereal, with nails a dark, eerie blue. It passed through Zhen Du’s cheek, half of it embedded in his skin. After some fumbling, Zhen Du suddenly coughed, spitting out a mouthful of rice. He started coughing violently, finally catching his breath, and collapsed weakly onto the table.

Wow, they actually saved him!

The wandering ghosts were overjoyed, bouncing around in excitement. It was the first time they realized they could be useful for something other than drifting aimlessly. “Wow, that’s amazing! We can actually help with rice!”

“Yeah, I didn’t know I was so capable. If anyone gets choked, they can come to me.”

“Hey, I’ve heard of kids choking on candy or peanuts. Maybe you should work at a hospital, helping out when needed. It’s a good deed, and over time, you might accumulate enough merit to get a shortcut in the Underworld!”

“Wow, really? I can do that?”

“Then I’ll spend my free time at the hospital, helping people with their throats. I have nothing else to do but wander around.”

The ghosts got more excited as they talked, eager to rush to the hospital to help with peanuts, candy, fishbones, and rice.

Zhen Du buried his bald head in his arms, tears of humiliation streaming down his face.

Jingxing remained silent.

Jingkong did likewise.

The three Yu brothers looked dumbfounded as the young monk, Zhen Du, somehow turned a crisis into safety. It felt as though they were in a movie: “Was that just edited out?”

“It seems so? The food was spat out.”

“Who did that? Our dad?”

Second Yu clasped his hands together and bowed all around, “Thank you all for your hard work.”

No sooner had he spoken than a chilly wind blew their way, making them shiver and huddle together in fear. Did they say something wrong?

Gu Feiyin nodded in approval, confident her idea was right. She advised, “Eat slowly, no rush, okay? There’s more in the pot, right?”

The Yu brothers nodded repeatedly, “Yes, yes, there’s still a lot more in the pot. Young monk, would you like another bowl if that’s not enough?”

Zhen Du remained silent.

No, I’m not in a hurry, damn Goddamn Heaven!

…

This lunch was lively and chaotic. Zhen Du hadn’t yet had his fill. Now holding his utensils, he ate carefully, as if he was eating needles, fearing he might accidentally draw blood. Jingkong dared not talk to Zhen Du anymore; he had never seen someone so jinxed, refreshing his perceptions once again.

Even Jingxing couldn’t help but take a few more looks at Zhen Du, saying, “My master is very accurate with fortune-telling. Why don’t you let him read your fortune? Maybe he could help you.”

Zhen Du replied, “Thanks for the kind thought, senior brother, but I was picked up by master from a trash heap, and I don’t know my exact birth details. It probably wouldn’t be accurate.”

Jingkong said, “Me too, me too, I was also picked up by master. It’s funny we are alike, but I’m not as unlucky as you.”

Zhen Du smiled faintly, “The fate is predestined. The fact that I’m still alive shows my time hasn’t come yet.”

Jingxing cautioned, “Then be careful.”

Zhen Du hummed an acknowledgment, carefully and meticulously ate up a bowl of rice without choking this time, and finally set down his utensils, belching contentedly.

Gu Feiyin also ate to her heart’s content, feeling so full she thought she could run several rounds up the mountain. The lone ghosts and spirits had a blast, filling their bellies so round they claimed this meal could sustain them through numerous seasons, still savoring the taste. Of course, all thanks to Yu, a hospitable and good ghost.

Yu remained silent.

Old Master Yu rolled his eyes and glared at his sons, making them feel a chilly dread as they looked around, happily wondering if their dad had come to see them. Old Master Yu secretly cursed them as idiots and lost interest in watching them.

Zhen Du stood up and approached Gu Feiyin, smiling, “Shizhu, thank you for saving me once again.”

Gu Feiyin nodded and said, “Thank him, it was he who helped you spit it out.”

The little ghost, proud and puffing up his chest, declared, “No need to thank me, it was just a small effort.”

Zhen Du’s lips twitched, his bald head looking less shiny now: “Thank you, I will now recite the Earth Store Sutra to bless you.”

“The Earth Store Sutra?” The little ghost’s pale face turned even whiter. Heaven knows he feared nothing more than a monk chanting sutras. No, he’d rather not be transcended. Better to head to a hospital and have a few more throats cleared than endure that.

Jingxing and Jingkong approached, casting a glance at the long-haired woman with her unfocused eyes and a face tinged with a cold hue. Jingxing addressed the Yu Family brothers, “You’ve found someone to help you, so we’ll take our leave.” They had come to offer transcendence to Old Master Yu, fearing his resentment might turn him into a Malevolent Ghost. But now that Old Master Yu had met his destined benefactor and avenged his grievances, their task was no longer necessary.

The Yu Family brothers felt a bit uneasy as the young monk prepared to leave. After all, with so many ghosts around, having a master nearby was reassuring. Nonetheless, they escorted them to the door. Gu Feiyin, who was heading to the mountain where Baiyu Temple was located, joined the three young monks on their way.

Jingxing walked behind, watching the long-haired woman leisurely stroll with a little ghost in tow, using a wooden stick. Her relaxed demeanor suggested she was quite content after the meal. He frowned and lowered his head, only to be startled by a sudden “Ah-!”

What??

Turning around, he saw Zhen Du sprawled on the ground, with Jingkong anxiously helping him up, asking if he was alright. Zhen Du’s fingers twitched slightly-yes, he was still alive.

Jingxing: “…”

Zhuang glanced back, letting out a sneaky giggle.

Gu Feiyin also glanced back, starting to worry about her ten yuan.

…

When Gu Feiyin reached the foot of the mountain, she waved to the young monks and floated up the mountain on Zhuang, leaving the three monks dumbfounded.

Jingkong: “…Did I just see things?”

Jingxing: “…”

Zhen Du: “…”

Zhuang snickered, “Surprised, huh? Haven’t you seen a ghost flying carpet before???”

They watched in awe as the long-haired woman floated away on the little ghost, realizing for the first time the many uses of ghosts.

However, Gu Feiyin didn’t stay long on the mountain. A little ghost came rushing over, panicked, saying Old Master Yu had been taken!

Gu Feiyin was taken aback, “Yu was captured? Was it some monk or Taoist?”

“No, it was that Malevolent Ghost I mentioned before, the one who likes to form gangs. Because of him, I didn’t get any paper money this year, not even a bite of meat. We were eating at Old Master Yu’s house until evening when suddenly a dozen ghosts came, dragged Old Master Yu away, and we couldn’t catch up!”

“Those ghosts said it was because Old Master Yu didn’t invite them to eat, implying he looked down on their boss. They claimed the territory within dozens of miles belonged to their boss, and by not inviting them, Old Master Yu was declaring war!”

“So they took Old Master Yu to settle the score, demanding an explanation! Old Master Yu’s bound to get beaten up. Master, we can’t fight them, so we came to ask for your help.”

Gu Feiyin couldn’t believe it. That so-called boss was too much. How dare they bully someone just because they weren’t invited to a meal? Of course, she had to go. She needed to rescue the little ones and capture those little ghosts to sell. She was quite broke lately, and she hadn’t even covered her travel and accommodation expenses from this trip.

“Who knows the way? I’ll go right now.”

“I do, I do! Master, I’ll lead you there.”

Zhuang was thrilled. Wow, a ghost challenging the long black straight hair! This was his chance! He had to seize this opportunity to escape!