Don't Reconcile Too Quickly - Chapter 41

Municipal Hospital, 8 a.m.

The nutritional breakfast arrived right on time. Now, without the need to shuttle between Ai You and the Municipal Hospital, there was more time to spare. With fewer consultations and flexible surgery hours, Shen Shixu could finally sit down and have breakfast with Chen Jiazhi.

Breakfast was still liquid-based, with porridge cooked to a soft consistency and a variety of easily digestible fruits, mostly strawberries.

Outside the suite was a balcony, with a small round table by the wall. The floor was even higher than at Guoyue, offering a vast view. The weather had been great lately, and from this angle, one could see the peak of Gongga Mountain¹, the king of the Shu Mountains.

The white snow lay on the dark mountain ridges, with clouds swirling around, while the steel forest of C City stretched out below.

Shen Shixu finished his breakfast first and watched Chen Jiazhi eat. “I have a meeting later. Be good and wait for me to come back. The caregiver is outside; call if you need anything. No infusion today.” Shen Shixu looked at the bruises on Chen Jiazhi’s hand, holding his other hand under the table, gently squeezing his fingers as he spoke softly, “Is there anywhere you want to go these days? We can take a walk.”

Once the consultation decided on a plan, chemotherapy would continue, and then it would be hard to go anywhere.

In Ai You, Chen Jiazhi mostly stayed in the ward, mainly to avoid being recognized. The only place he moved around was the 16th floor, where the high-level wards didn’t see much life and death, so there were many things he hadn’t seen.

Shen Shixu thought it through carefully, considering everything. If they were to go out, it wouldn’t be around the hospital, where the sight of life and death could only add to the sadness.

“You talked to me yesterday. Can you answer one question today?”

After a while, Chen Jiazhi put down his spoon and looked at him. Shen Shixu suddenly smiled, “You agreed, but you still won’t say anything, waiting for me to talk alone?”

He asked, “Do you want to go out?”

Chen Jiazhi shook his head.

“Do you want to see Hero?” Shen Shixu guided, “Do you want to see Jiabao?”

He probably did, otherwise, why wouldn’t he say anything?

“Hero is at Lushan. In a few days, I’ll have Zhen-Jie send videos and photos over. Would you like that?” Leaning over the round table and the plates, Shen Shixu’s nose touched Chen Jiazhi’s affectionately, “I’ll sneak Jiabao over to play with you, okay?”

Their noses touched briefly, and Chen Jiazhi turned his head. Only then did Shen Shixu notice the fine sweat on his temples.

He stood up abruptly, disregarding whether Chen Jiazhi disliked being touched, and lifted him onto the nearby bed, gently pressing his fingers on his stomach, “Does it hurt here?”

Given the chance to admit the pain, Chen Jiazhi curled up, showing a hint of suffering on his face.

Cancer pain was a normal occurrence, an unavoidable issue.

“How long has it been hurting? Why didn’t you tell me?” Shen Shixu’s tone was a bit urgent. He immediately took out a pen and paper from the bedside, drawing a shaky line with a trembling wrist.

There are usually two methods for assessing cancer pain.

One is the conventional assessment principle: generally asking the patient. Visibly, Chen Jiazhi was already biting his lip tightly, not speaking.

The other is the quantitative assessment principle: which Shen Shixu was currently conducting.

On a crooked line, he drew ten short vertical lines, marking them 0-10, with 0 representing no pain and 10 representing severe pain.

The intensity of the pain increased with the numbers.

“Look at this.” Shen Shixu held Chen Jiazhi in his arms, placing the pen in his hand, quickly explaining the principle, asking him to circle a number.

This number determined whether to use painkillers, how much to use, and when to use them, needing precise timing, even down to the minute.

The pen slipped from his hand several times, and the fine sweat on his forehead had turned into small beads. Chen Jiazhi whimpered, shakily drawing a fleeting mark on “6.”

No need to worry about his comprehension ability; in this regard, he was the strongest person Shen Shixu had ever seen.

So this number was accurate.

Then, the first time using the NRS (Numerical Rating Scale) was already a 6. From the time he returned to the country and was diagnosed, over three months had passed. How long had he been in pain, silently enduring?

Shen Shixu’s heart ached as if it were trembling, removing the pen and paper, his lips trembling as he continuously kissed the top of his head.

Currently, medication couldn’t be used; it wasn’t time yet. Painkillers had dependency issues.

But they could be used, after all, the attending physician had the final say.

In just a few seconds, it felt like a trip through hell, with all the medical knowledge and adverse consequences densely laid out before him.

After a moment, Shen Shixu immediately stood up, “I’ll go get you some medicine. The caregiver will come in to take care of you. I’ll be right back.”

Running was prohibited in the hospital, but today, from the inpatient department to the outpatient building and then to the pharmacy, it seemed to patients and other medical staff as if there was a major emergency.

When he returned to the ward, the caregiver was tidying up the trash can, and Chen Jiazhi was tightly clutching his abdomen, curled up on the bed.

After administering the medication, he soon fell into an exhausted sleep.

Shen Shixu had initially wanted to wake him to finish breakfast, but now he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He held Chen Jiazhi, gently stroking his cheek, occasionally kissing him or wiping away sweat.

His body rested on his lap, and he could feel the bones in his back, yet he didn’t sleep soundly.

However, it was time for the consultation. He had to go down immediately. After instructing the caregiver to come in and watch over him, Shen Shixu lingered by the bedside for a while longer. Before leaving, he kissed Chen Jiazhi’s brow again, regardless of whether he could hear or if there were others around, whispering, “Wait for me to come back.”

Today, everyone from the gastroenterology department was present, including Zhou Ping, who had returned from an academic conference abroad. It wasn’t very formal; everyone knew Shen Shixu was processing his resignation and knew who was on the 31st floor, so they earnestly discussed the situation.

In the end, everyone agreed that Shen Shixu’s proposed plan had no issues. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the Proton Therapy Center to be completed by the end of April, combining chemotherapy with radiation therapy until surgical conditions were met.

Most doctors didn’t recommend combining radiation and chemotherapy, though feasible, the challenge was whether the cancer patient’s body could withstand it, and radiation and chemotherapy were typically used for metastatic or late-stage patients.

After the consultation, Shen Shixu sincerely said, “He might ask, so I hope everyone can keep it from him, still saying it’s mid-stage, with a 90% chance of cure.”

In this world, whether morally or legally, the only permissible thing is a doctor’s well-intentioned lie.

After the meeting, Shen Shixu returned to the 31st floor. It was almost noon, and Chen Jiazhi hadn’t woken up yet, still sleeping restlessly, frequently turning over.

Shen Shixu held him, and he didn’t move as much.

With a mix of surprise and heartache, Chen Jiazhi, in his sleep, grasped his thumb and didn’t let go.

The usually affectionate Shen Shixu leaned down, pressing his face against Chen Jiazhi’s, gently rocking, “Don’t sleep anymore, it’s time to get up for lunch.”

After a while, he finally managed to wake him up. After taking the painkiller, Chen Jiazhi ate quite a bit for lunch, but soon after, he fell asleep again.

In the afternoon, Shen Shixu had a surgery, so he had the caregiver come in to watch over him. By the time the surgery was done, the assistant had already brought Jiabao over.

This was technically against the rules, but as long as he communicated well with the nurses and the “attending physician” himself, it wasn’t a big issue.

In the evening, Shen Shixu deliberately put on a White Coat, placing Jiabao in one of the pockets, and entered the ward mysteriously.

Hearing the commotion, Chen Jiazhi, who was sitting on the sofa in a daze, turned his face, glanced for a second, and then looked away.

Shen Shixu thought to himself, if it were before, upon seeing him, Chen Jiazhi would have used every phrase in the world to describe how handsome he was.

“Why won’t you look at me?” He sat down on the sofa next to Chen Jiazhi, guiding his hand into the pocket, where a fluffy, soft Jiabao emerged.

“If you won’t look at me, fine.” He teased, “Won’t you look at Jiabao either?”

Jiabao, unconcerned with adult complexities, climbed onto Chen Jiazhi, sniffing and licking his neck.

Only then did the turned-away face come back, and Chen Jiazhi petted Jiabao’s head, “Long time no see.”

The teasing mood vanished, and Shen Shixu asked softly, “Did you miss him?”

Without answering that, Chen Jiazhi said, “During chemotherapy, he was with Zhou Wei.”

It contained two meanings.

First, he hadn’t entrusted Jiabao to anyone else;

Second, he was explaining that he hadn’t neglected Jiabao.

Thinking of the instructions given before leaving more than ten days ago, during those tough chemotherapy days… he must have been so heartbroken to swap Hero and Jiabao back.

At that time, he must have been utterly heartbroken, determined never to return.

If he hadn’t gone to the villa at Huanhuaxi, hadn’t discovered the blood-stained school uniform, what would have happened in the end?

Hiding abroad alone, secretly undergoing treatment, who would take care of him, what would happen when the pain came?

“Baby.” Shen Shixu called him.

He must have been happy because as soon as the words fell, Chen Jiazhi turned his face towards the sound.

With a thousand words stuck in his heart, Shen Shixu quietly looked at him, “Our relationship is such that, alive, we sleep together every night, and in death, we lie in the coffin together.”

“In the future, tell me everything, whether you’re annoyed with me, love me, hate me, what you want, what you want to do.” In a gesture of reliance, he wrapped his arms around Chen Jiazhi’s neck, his lips kissing his ear, “Let me hold your hand, accompany you, walk with you, okay?”

Later, he rambled on about many things, and while Chen Jiazhi petted Jiabao, he didn’t speak, but he no longer said things like go away or I don’t want to see you.

Days passed in a blur, more tests were done, and fortunately, all indicators finally met the standards. Unfortunately, chemotherapy was about to start, and Chen Jiazhi’s painkillers hadn’t been stopped.

Today, Shen Shixu had no surgeries, and Chen Jiazhi had transitioned from liquid food to normal, soft food.

The nutritional meals were more abundant, with ten different dishes each meal, continuously supplied.

Now Chen Jiazhi didn’t have to eat three regular meals like ordinary people; as long as he had an appetite, the nutritionist would immediately send fresh food over.

Sometimes Chen Jiazhi still couldn’t eat because the tumor in his esophagus obstructed the smoothness of eating.

When Shen Shixu coaxed him with a bowl, the nurses saw and couldn’t stop giggling.

Sometimes Chen Jiazhi would vomit, and Shen Shixu would catch it with his hands, showing no disgust at the chewed food in his hands, immediately cleaning himself up and giving Chen Jiazhi water to rinse his mouth and wipe his face.

In the ward, Jiabao openly slept on the bed, and Shen Shixu didn’t dare to scold him.

On the third day, chemotherapy was set to begin the next day.

In the ward, Shen Shixu bought a puzzle and a carpet for the suite, placing the puzzle on it for Chen Jiazhi to see. When Chen Jiazhi finally started to take it apart, perhaps feeling better, Shen Shixu sat down beside him and said, “Treatment starts tomorrow.” As he spoke, he observed Chen Jiazhi’s reaction.

“I know.”

“Before chemotherapy, we need to do a small procedure called PICC. With this, we won’t need to use the Indwelling Catheter anymore, and your hand will soon return to how it was. Tomorrow morning, I’ll take you down, and my colleague will do it for you. She’s very gentle, and there will be some anesthesia, so it won’t hurt.” Shen Shixu said, “I’ll be waiting outside for you, okay?”

PICC is a type of intravenous infusion channel, essentially placing a tube through the veins into the body, typically inserted at 37-38cm, though it can vary slightly depending on individual height, as long as the tip is positioned in the superior vena cava.

With proper maintenance, it can remain in the body for up to a year, facilitating the administration of chemotherapy drugs. Frequent use of needles can lead to vascular hardening, posing significant risks.

After a while, Chen Jiazhi said, “Okay.”

To ease the tension about continuing chemotherapy, Shen Shixu playfully brushed his cheek to change the subject, “Why don’t you think I’m amazing?”

“Now I’m your attending physician, but I used to be your schoolmate, desk mate, first love, neighbor, and the father of your child.”

Chen Jiazhi silently glanced at him.

“Do other people’s boyfriends have so many roles?”

Probably only he could shamelessly say such things. Chen Jiazhi ignored him, focusing on a puzzle piece.

Just when Shen Shixu thought he wouldn’t respond, he heard Chen Jiazhi say, “Move.”

Feeling hurt, he clutched his chest and moved aside.

Chen Jiazhi added, “You’re sitting on the puzzle.”

Love and hate in an instant!

Retrieving the puzzle piece from beneath his leg, Shen Shixu leaned in close, “I counted, you have 810 eyelashes.”

The mechanical action of the body triggered an automatic response from the brain, and Chen Jiazhi blurted out, “Impossible.”

A tone filled with playful reproach and grievance.

For so many days, this was his first emotionally expressive sentence.

He couldn’t hold back! Shen Shixu almost wanted to kiss him! Just then, familiar voices and knocking came from outside the suite, prompting him to glance outside quickly. Without warning, he cupped Chen Jiazhi’s face, half-kneeling on the carpet, leaning against the bed, and kissed his face.

Outside the suite.

Hao Xi, with bleary eyes from drinking: “Whoa!”

Xu Minghe, in a daze: “Shixu is at the hotel too?”

Xu Zhouye, arms crossed, leaned against the doorframe and whistled.

Chu Ziyou stepped aside, beckoning to Arivn, who also had a flushed face from drinking, “Arivn, come here, quickly.”

Zhou Wei, tiptoeing among the heads, whispered, “Isn’t this a bit inappropriate…”

The desire to kiss was genuine, but so was the intention to show someone. Shen Shixu didn’t overdo it, his lips briefly touching the face before pulling back, leaving Chen Jiazhi staring at him blankly.

Standing up and clearing his throat, Shen Shixu turned around nonchalantly, asking, “When did you all arrive?”

Hao Xi: “When you were kissing.”

“Oh.” Shen Shixu responded casually, “Where have you been playing these days?”

Don’t mention it; just thinking about it makes everyone want to puke.

They dragged Arivn around for four days of drinking, Xu Minghe was in his element, finally finding a chance to show off in front of foreign friends, drinking to the point of opening his treasured Romanée-Conti.

Four days of hopping from one place to another, as Xu Minghe described it: 139 white wine, beer, and grape wine.

If you were to test the blood, it would probably be: traces of blood found in the deceased’s alcohol.

Their main task was to drink Arivn under the table, and if they couldn’t, they’d call over a handsome guy to drink along, either you drink or you drink with the handsome guy.

After drinking, they’d crash at the hotel, wake up to eat, and take Arivn around C City to enjoy the sights and food, with the main strategy being to keep anyone from getting close to their brother’s wife.

Zhou Wei escaped the ordeal, enjoying a few days of fun, but the brothers played Arivn to the point where he said he wanted to go back home.

Once he said that, they came to report.

Shen Shixu signaled to Chu Ziyou, and the four of them entered the suite to accompany Chen Jiazhi. Hao Xi exclaimed as soon as he entered, “Wow, you have so many snacks! Can I have one?”

“Can I drink a bottle of your milk? I’m really dying, haven’t had anything but alcohol for four days, you’re really gorgeous.”

Chen Jiazhi nodded.

So Xu Minghe went to grab a can of milk, plopped down on the sofa, and sighed after finishing it, “Man, finally something that’s not alcohol.”

Zhou Wei played with Jiabao, while Chu Ziyou and Xu Zhouye casually sat beside Chen Jiazhi.

Chu Ziyou extended a friendly smile and hand, “Hello Chen Jiazhi, nice to meet you, I’m Shixu’s good friend, Chu Ziyou.”

His hand was slapped away, and Xu Zhouye smiled, “Don’t mind him, he’s Shixu’s bad friend, I’m the good friend, I’m Xu Zhouye.”

Shen Shixu glanced at Arivn, who smirked and said, “Deliberate, huh?”

“What do you mean?”

Arivn pointed at his lips, then at the brothers inside, “The kiss and the drinking.”

No need to deny it, Shen Shixu openly admitted, “Yes.”

“You Chinese are interesting, open yet reserved.” Arivn laughed, “No need to chase people away like this.”

“I’m not chasing you away, just can’t accept someone else beside my loved one, and he trusts this person.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing much, Lucas asked me to call my aunt the other day.” Shen Shixu said indifferently, “You know Chen Meng, right?”

“Of course, what’s that got to do with trust?”

“…”

The two men stood in the doorway, each silent for a moment, Arivn suspiciously said, “I don’t quite understand what you’re trying to say, but I think we should talk outside?”

Before closing the door, Shen Shixu instructed, “Don’t bother him, don’t give him random things to eat.”

Outside, the two walked down the corridor, Arivn seriously and solemnly said, “Your approach might be wrong, the signs of emotional detachment haven’t improved.”

Shen Shixu frowned sharply, now it was his turn to ask what he meant.

“Just now, your friends greeted him, he only nodded, didn’t respond.” Arivn said in surprise, “Didn’t you notice?”

“Technically, it’s his first time meeting Chu Ziyou and the others, only somewhat familiar with Hao Xi.” Shen Shixu said, “He’s always been like this, seems easygoing, but doesn’t initiate conversation with unfamiliar people.”

“No, if it were normal social interaction, your friend extended a handshake, he would reciprocate.” Arivn said, “He not only didn’t, but immediately focused on his own things.” His expression was serious, “Your method is completely wrong, it will only get worse.”

After a moment, Shen Shixu asked, “What should I do?”

“I need you to tell me what exactly happened that night, what you said, so I can analyze.” Arivn said, “He has PTSD, I only found the cause in the third year, now you won’t tell me what happened, even God wouldn’t know what to do.”

After a long time, Shen Shixu spoke with difficulty, “That night I lost my mind… seeing you enter the room with him, I tore his clothes, verbally and physically humiliated him, said many things, like why didn’t he die… called him cheap, told him to get lost, not to seek me out, said I mistakenly treated trash as treasure, belittled him as unworthy, even hit his face with the Notebook, pushed him to hit the bedside table, told him not to touch me, called him disgusting, then he chased out-”

“Wait, what does treasure mean?”

With his head down, Shen Shixu said dejectedly, “In Chinese, it roughly means treating something worthless as precious.”

“You invalidated him.” Arivn said confidently, “Yes, it must be that.”

During the pause, neither spoke for ten minutes.

Arivn finally said, “I haven’t seen him these days, now I need you to describe his reactions in detail, maybe… I said something wrong to him…”

Reflecting on these days, it seemed like a lot happened, yet it flew by.

Shen Shixu’s voice trembled slightly: “He rarely answers my questions, rarely looks at me, often lost in thought alone. The day you all went out, I talked to him for a long time, that afternoon, he spoke to me first, he took out his phone and said it was out of battery.”

“Out of battery?”

“Yes, he asked me to return a call to my aunt.”

“Wait, first said out of battery, then he actively asked you to return the call?”

“Yes.”

“What was your reaction when he said out of battery?”

What reaction? At the time, ecstatic.

“Look for a charger.” Shen Shixu puzzledly glanced at him.

Arivn asked, “When he said out of battery, did he look at you?”

Recalling carefully, Shen Shixu replied, “Yes.”

“He was observing you, your reaction, seeing what you’d do, then continued expressing his thoughts.” Arivn said, “You were probably very happy, so he continued expressing.”

“Because you invalidated him, he’s insecure, so he didn’t immediately express his true thoughts, instead found another reason through your reaction, then continued expressing.”

“And then?”

“Then I called my aunt, then I annoyed him, he pushed me away, only spoke at night.”

“At midnight, he got up to use the bathroom, initially his eyes itched, I helped rub them for a while, then carried him to the bathroom.”

Arivn pondered, “He doesn’t reject your touch.”

“Yes, except for the first day at Ai You when he told me to leave, afterwards he never refused being held or fed, when I said it’s time to sleep, he’d sleep, dressing him didn’t meet resistance.”

“During this time, did he express wanting to eat something, do something, or not wanting to eat or do something?”

Shen Shixu shook his head, “No.”

“Besides us, who else has seen him? Why did he suddenly agree to transfer hospitals?”

Thinking of the favor asked of Bald Li, Shen Shixu said, “I had Ai You’s attending physician persuade him, then he agreed to transfer.”

“Now that I think about it, it was sudden, at the time I was happy, didn’t think much.”

“What did they say?”

Shen Shixu immediately called Bald Li, explained the reason, and Bald Li recounted the persuasion verbatim.

As Bald Li spoke, Shen Shixu translated into English.

After hanging up, Arivn affirmed, “I know what’s going on.”

“Lucas grew up in a high-pressure environment, always belittled by his mother, he thinks he’s a burden, Chen Ni constantly instilled this idea.”

“His psyche is inherently more sensitive and fragile than most, he didn’t receive the natural maternal love, later understood that in this world, acquiring innate love doesn’t require any cost, but he just didn’t have it.”

“So he’s very insecure, deeply questioning if he’s not good enough, sometimes he gets angry, trying to achieve self-worth negatively.”

“Later, as he grew older, he met you, you gave him another kind of love, though hard to believe, you did it, gradually filling his insecurity, so he placed all his emotions on you.”

“But precisely because of this, that night at the hotel you invalidated and humiliated him, making him feel the disappearance of this love again, he started questioning himself.”

“You say he listens to you, but I think it’s not that he fundamentally wants to listen to you. He’s trying to please you.”

“And the Attending Physician at Ai You told him how hard you worked to treat him, how much effort you put in.”

“This approach is wrong, but you can’t blame the doctor; he didn’t know.”

“I also said the wrong things; we all did.”

“From the moment you knew he was sick, you catered to his every need, but there’s a catch-you denied him.”

“In his subconscious, you aren’t being kind to him because you love him, but because he’s sick, and you pity him as a patient.”

“He now craves your love.”

Deep down, Shen Shixu loves Chen Jiazhi no matter what. If he remains obedient like this forever, Shen Shixu wouldn’t mind.

So Shen Shixu asked, “If he stays like this, what will happen?”

Arivn glared for a moment, “Are you crazy?”

“I know what you’re trying to do! You want him to listen to you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Madman!”

“If emotional detachment becomes severe, he’ll turn into a walking corpse. He might rely on you, but Lucas isn’t your appendage!” Arivn was quite angry, squinting at Shen Shixu. “You want him to depend on you for life? That’s impossible! If you try to do that, I’ll take him away immediately.”

“You can’t.”

“Try me. Since you know about ‘transference,’ you should understand psychological suggestion.”

After a long silence, Shen Shixu slowly said, “I admit, the idea of him depending on me is tempting, but I don’t agree with your view.”

“Alright, let me ask you,” Arivn said. “Did he ever refuse your requests before? Did he ever disobey you, throw tantrums, or do things he knew would upset you?”

In the past, he was sometimes annoyingly disobedient.

“Judging by your expression, I know my diagnosis is correct,” Arivn sighed. “The love you gave him, your actions and expressions, built a strong fortress for him. In this fortress, he felt comfortable and secure. Then you personally shattered this fortress. Instead of rebuilding it, you dragged him to a vast, boundless grassland, letting him do whatever he wanted. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not suitable for him.”

“He’ll be afraid. If you let go again, he’ll have nothing left, not even the fragments of the fortress.”

“So, what should he do?”

“So now, as you hold onto him, he’ll be even more afraid, instinctively trying to please you. He knows you well, knows what makes you happy.”

Shen Shixu asked incredulously, “So, he doesn’t even dare to express pain because of this…”

“Yes, if he doesn’t listen to you or accept what you give, does he fear that your love will disappear again?”

“What should I do?” Shen Shixu asked, lifting his head with difficulty, “What should I do to help him recover?”

“Can I still trust you?”

Staring at the empty staircase, Shen Shixu calmly said, “I’m just an ordinary person, not that great. Facing him, I have selfish desires, and more often, I have some dark thoughts. But as long as it’s for his good, these things can disappear.”

“Then I suggest you interact with him as you did before. Treat him like a normal person,” Arivn said. “This balance is hard to achieve. You have to try.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“No need to thank me. I know you dislike me, but I’ve told you the method, and I should leave now.” Arivn smiled, “I don’t dislike you because you’re good enough to him, providing the best treatment conditions.”

“And the punishment you’ve received has already made you suffer immensely, so you don’t need to thank me. You deserve it.”

“I’ve booked a flight for tomorrow, no need for farewells. I’m not suitable to be his psychologist anymore.”

“Go inside and be with him. I need to go back and get some sleep. Your friends are too wild, especially Xu Minghe. How can he drink so much…”

“I’ll have a driver take you tomorrow.”

“No need. Saying I don’t dislike you was a lie. Did you really believe it?”

Shen Shixu chuckled bitterly, took a deep breath, and pushed open the ward door to go inside.

The suite was lively, everyone gathered on the carpet by the bed. Xu Minghe was teaching Chen Jiazhi how to play a game, while Chu Ziyou and Xu Zhouye chased Hao Xi around in the game.

When Shen Shixu entered, no one looked up, but Zhou Wei stood up and approached, “Dr. Shen, I’m heading out. These days have been…”

Shen Shixu patted his shoulder, “Sorry.”

“No problem, no problem.”

Until the game round ended, Shen Shixu had been sitting on the sofa for a while. He carefully chose his words and said, “Chen Jiazhi, still playing?”

His heart was clenched as he spoke, not expecting it to be so difficult. Just pretending to scold made him almost breathless.

Everyone was immersed in the intense game battle, except Chen Jiazhi, who slowed his game operation, lifted his eyes cautiously, and sneaked a glance. After a moment of eye contact, he quickly looked away.

This cautious demeanor was worse than the previous loud arguments!

Holding onto the sofa cushion to prevent his hands from shaking, Shen Shixu prepared for a while, then raised his voice, truly scolding, “Lucas, didn’t you hear me talking to you?”

As soon as he said this, the five people sitting on the floor looked up, and two screens went black.

Enduring the discomfort, Shen Shixu continued, “Stop playing games, put down the phone, and take your medicine and go to sleep.”

Chu Ziyou clicked his tongue, “You’re overdoing it, Shixu.”

Hao Xi held his black screen phone, “Are you sick? It’s only 7 o’clock. If you want to sleep, go ahead.”

Xu Zhouye frowned, “What’s with showing off your family status in front of us?”

Xu Minghe continued to move Chen Jiazhi’s character to prevent it from dying, without lifting his head, “Exactly! Get your attitude right!”

Unable to continue, feeling too heartbroken, Shen Shixu pushed open the balcony door and went out to smoke and calm down. The other four immediately followed.

Five men crowded on the balcony, Chu Ziyou, Xu Zhouye, and Hao Xi also lit cigarettes, while Xu Minghe squatted down, still holding Chen Jiazhi’s phone, fighting against five, even though the other four were idling in the game.

“That was a bit much, why talk like that?” Chu Ziyou said.

“Indeed, he’s not well now. Speak to him properly.” Xu Zhouye leaned on the balcony, “With your attitude, you might as well not reconcile. He’s suffering.”

Hao Xi grumbled, “Just found him a few days ago and already like this.”

They all blamed him, showing how bad his attitude was just now, and how bad it was before. After finishing a cigarette, Shen Shixu said, “It’s not what I want. My heart aches. The psychologist told me…” He briefly recounted his conversation with Arivn.

Everyone fell silent, and after a while, Chu Ziyou asked, “What about his parents? Why haven’t they come?”

“They passed away,” Shen Shixu said slowly, lighting another cigarette and exhaling smoke. “It has something to do with me.”

Everyone fell even more silent.

“So now I don’t know how to face him. I want to be good to him, but I’m afraid it will worsen his psychological condition. Scolding him, I can’t even say it.”

Looking back through the transparent glass door, Chen Jiazhi was still sitting on the carpet, head slightly lowered, looking very sad.

“Maybe you should soften your tone?” Chu Ziyou suggested, “But it doesn’t seem right either…”

“Why soften?” Xu Minghe locked his phone and stood up, patting his butt, “No need to soften.”

Xu Zhouye patted his head, “Just play your game, we have someone else for the discussion.”

“Are you all stupid? Why soften? Treat him like a normal person, no need to be so cautious.” Xu Minghe scoffed, “It’s not about treating him as a patient, nor about pleasing him. Do you understand? Just a normal attitude without illness or resentment.”

Shen Shixu flicked his cigarette ash, “Do you have any suggestions?”

“When I was 12, right after my parents’ accident, everyone sympathized with me, comforted me, advised me to think positively. Even my uncle, who disliked me, spoke earnestly, saying it was okay, to be strong. At that time, I was young and needed comfort, but not pity, you know.”

“The death of my parents made me sad, but I didn’t need everyone to deliberately change or hide their original attitude towards me.”

“Because I knew you were never like this to me, but you pitied me because my parents died.”

“So Chen Jiazhi might think the same way. You were never like this to me before, but because I’m sick, you’re being nice to me.” Xu Minghe looked at them blankly. “Such a simple truth, and you don’t get it?”

Xu Zhouye pulled him into his arms, “Enough, brother, I feel for you.”

Hao Xi also joined in, “You’ve wanted to say this for years, haven’t you? You’re really, I’m crying…”

“Get off, are you sick?” Xu Minghe broke free and looked at Shen Shixu, “You need to let go of your psychological burden. That foreigner definitely didn’t explain it clearly. I knew he had hidden thoughts, definitely still thinking about Chen Jiazhi!”

“Alright, alright,” Chu Ziyou was worried, waving his hand, “Quickly shut him up.”

“See! Ziyou’s attitude is normal!” Xu Minghe pointed at Chu Ziyou, firmly saying, “You were too deliberate just now. You shouldn’t treat Chen Jiazhi as a patient, really, remember this.”

“Otherwise, whatever you do will change.”

Xu Minghe offered a new perspective, and Shen Shixu let them go in to say goodbye to Chen Jiazhi.

Once they were all packed up, Shen Shixu grabbed Chen Jiazhi’s arm and lifted him up, nodding toward the group, “Not even a goodbye?”

Everyone held their breath, watching as Chen Jiazhi nodded, “Goodbye, take care on the road.”

The group breathed a sigh of relief, and Shen Shixu let out an even bigger sigh, patting Chen Jiazhi’s head, deliberately asking, “So obedient?”

After speaking, he continued to observe Chen Jiazhi’s expression, waiting for a while, Chen Jiazhi quietly said, “It’s time for medicine.”

“Remember, huh? How did you pretend not to hear just now?” Releasing him, Shen Shixu went to get the medicine, painfully but still trying to sound casual, “Play fewer games with them in the future.”

“Un-understood.”

His hand paused as he opened the drawer, heart aching to the point of breathlessness, holding onto the cabinet door to stop his fingers from shaking further, swallowing the bitterness in his throat and nose, Shen Shixu straightened up, “Tonight, I’m going to give you a bath, don’t refuse again.”

Seeing Chen Jiazhi standing there, looking unsure of how to respond, afraid to refuse.

Shen Shixu’s defenses crumbled instantly, quickly going over to hug him, wanting to say sorry but holding back, rubbing his fluffy hair, saying in a deep voice, “If you don’t listen, I’ll pinch your cheek.”

After a few seconds, Chen Jiazhi placed his head on his shoulder, quietly leaning, softly saying, “Okay.”

God knows how long he waited for this moment, how long he waited for this kind of response.

Every second felt like ten seconds of agony.

Wrapping his arms around the thin waist, Shen Shixu held him, looking up, trying to close his eyes.

He asked, “Were you scared just now?”

In a small voice by his ear, Chen Jiazhi said, “Afraid you’ll pinch my cheek.”

Shen Shixu hugged him tighter, his heart nearly breaking, saying, “Only if you don’t listen.”

Even quieter, almost a whisper, Chen Jiazhi said, “I’ll listen.”

Someone nodded with a choked voice, taking a long time to hoarsely reply, “Good.”

Footnote:

1. Gongga Mountain(贡嘎山): Also known as Mount Gongga, it is the highest peak in Sichuan Province, China, and part of the Daxue Mountain range. It is known for its stunning natural beauty and challenging climbing routes.