Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Moody - Chapter 9 - Going to Work

“How come you’re just getting back? I’m already sleepy.”

With a coquettish demeanor of a shy little girl, Xu Wei inside the door exchanged nods with Wen Xue at the doorway. Seeing the two masters in such a pose, they naturally vanished without any fuss.

“Why wait for me if you’re tired? Just sleep.”

Squinting slightly, Shi Zijun patted his sweetheart’s shoulder inside his embrace, his steps unsteady and breath reeking of alcohol, signaling her to get off him.

“Zijun, can you carry me upstairs?”

Typically, she wouldn’t even need to ask; he’d always firmly catch her whenever she lunged at him and would lift her up in his arms right away.

Song Xiaoni, long accustomed to being pampered, thought that by lowering herself to ask, Shi Zijun would certainly sweep her up without a word-even though she wouldn’t really let him do it since he was drunk. She just wanted him to make the gesture.

“I’m tired. You should rest now.”

Contrary to the expected gesture of scooping her up, Shi Zijun shockingly peeled off her hands, pushed her away from his body, and staggered away alone, leaving Song Xiaoni standing at the door with tear-filled, bewildered eyes.

Her heart felt truly cold.

To deceive herself any longer would be utterly foolish and naive, her pride compelling her to clench her fists tightly.

She hardened her heart and walked upstairs.

“Shi Zijun, I’ve found a job.”

No longer affectionately calling him ‘Zijun’ nor sweetly calling him ‘dear’, but rather addressing him formally by his full name, Song Xiaoni bit her lip and took a deep breath. She didn’t enter but stood at the study’s doorway, speaking firmly to Shi Zijun, who was changing clothes with his back to the door. Without the expected turn around, that little bit of faint hope in her heart sank with a thud, making her slightly stagger.

“Congratulations.”

“I start work tomorrow.”

“Good.”

Song Xiaoni hurried away, her steps unsteady. She feared that she wouldn’t be able to resist throwing herself at him again, something she didn’t want to do, as it would mean degrading herself by pleading for warmth and affection. She despised that.

Even though it was the man she deeply loved, she needed to maintain her basic dignity. She couldn’t allow herself to trample on her own self-respect, she didn’t want to live like that.

With her pride wounded, she returned to her bedroom, deliberately avoiding thoughts of grievance and loss.

She couldn’t believe it-just because Shi Zijun ignored her, did that mean she couldn’t live? Hadn’t she lived a vibrant and lively life before Shi Zijun had entered her life?

Song Xiaoni was filled with a mix of frustration and stubbornness. She grabbed her phone and set the alarm for the morning before lying back down on the bed by herself. The bed suddenly felt far too spacious and empty, and she couldn’t help but think of the small single bed she used to sleep on back when she shared an apartment with Li Te. That bed was so narrow she had to be careful not to roll over in her sleep for fear of falling to the floor. Every night, before falling asleep, she would cling tightly to the wall. Now, with a bed big enough that she would never worry about falling, the emptiness of it felt incredibly cold and lonely. She missed the snugness of the past.

Although the season was warm, the bed felt chillier than ever, prompting her to curl up tightly, wrapping herself securely in the comforter. Out of an old habit, she pressed herself against the wall.

When the alarm blared the next morning, she groaned and burrowed deeper into the covers. Over a year of indulgent living had made her forget the struggles of waking up to an alarm during busier days. Her head stayed quietly buried under the blanket for a few more moments until the alarm went off again, ten minutes later, jolting her memory. She suddenly snapped awake, rolled out of bed, silenced the alarm, and hurriedly got ready. Quickly washing her face, changing into work clothes, and grabbing her bag, she stepped out of the house. Without waiting for the door to close behind her completely, she took off running.

She had no idea that someone was standing at the window of the study, watching her. Shi Zijun leaned against the windowsill, eyes shadowed, brows furrowed deeply, his expression a mix of frustration and heartache.

Song Xiaoni had never been the athletic type, and over the past year, Shi Zijun had spoiled her so much that her body felt out of shape, her limbs weak. It didn’t take long for her to feel winded, her breath coming in heavy gasps, sweat starting to bead on her forehead. Yet, she gritted her teeth and kept running. She wanted-needed-to reclaim her old self, even if the memories of who she used to be felt a bit hazy now.

Just as she was pressing on, a car screeched to a sudden halt right in front of her, frightening her into stumbling backward. Momentarily thrown off balance, she steadied herself and prepared an angry retort, only to stop mid-sentence when she saw the person in the car.

“Get in. I’ll give you a ride,” Shi Zijun said, his hand resting lightly on the steering wheel. He didn’t look directly at her, his side profile indifferent, his face devoid of unnecessary emotion.

“No need. I have legs!” Song Xiaoni shot back defiantly. Her temper flared as she clenched her fists and marched forward instead of taking his offer.

Shi Zijun’s face darkened, his teeth gritting in frustration. He let out a long exhale before slamming his fist onto the steering wheel. The horn blared loudly, the piercing sound chasing after Song Xiaoni as she jogged away.

Shi Zijun watched his sweetheart struggling to run ahead without blinking an eye. It was painful to see her like this. The deliberate distancing over the past few days left him unsure of what to do. He wondered what he could do to make her willingly accept his protection. He didn’t know. All he could think to do was to torment himself by not contacting her, not holding her, not caring for her. His head throbbed with pain, but the silly, stubborn little figure in front of him didn’t look back, just kept running forward desperately. Shi Zijun frowned, stepped hard on the accelerator, and zoomed past Song Xiaoni without any hesitation.

Watching the car disappear quickly in front of her, Song Xiaoni couldn’t help but feel her eyes moisten. She wiped them and, panting, ran to the bus stop where she just caught a bus. It wasn’t crowded, so she picked a seat at the back to catch her breath.

Her body was overheated, her mouth dry. Thinking back to what had just happened, she pursed her lips, her eyes red, stubbornly refusing to show weakness.

She wanted to see if she could live as vividly busy as before without Shi Zijun’s domineering protection and still be unharmed.

She was holding a grudge, not just against Shi Zijun, but also against herself for wasting a year doing nothing significant.

“Good morning~”

As she entered the company, she heard this greeting. Instinctively, she looked around. Besides herself, there was only the person who had greeted her. Song Xiaoni was slightly startled but responded timidly.

“Oh, good morning.”

She bowed her head slightly, somewhat shyly.

She had planned to arrive at work early to help clean the office. After all, being new, she couldn’t just boss people around or expect to be served. She hadn’t earned that right yet. She was just a country girl who, thanks to a year of unexpected blessings, had been soaked in love and enjoyed luxury. All of it seemed natural, yet on reflection, it felt surreal.

At home, or rather, at Shi Zijun’s home, she could live without lifting a finger for the most basic tasks. But in a strange place, where she was a newcomer, she couldn’t afford to be clueless or inconsiderate. After all, she had some experience in society, brief as it was, and she knew the rules and what was expected of her. Unexpectedly, on her first day when she got up early to show her good worker qualities, she ran into someone else. A glance at his outfit told her he was no ordinary staff member, which made her feel slightly uneasy.

“New here?”

Clearly, the person didn’t mind her discomfort and seemed keen on making conversation.

“Yes.”