Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Moody - Chapter 8 - The Things Between a Couple

The two of them ordered Zhajiangmian¹ and ate with such relish and satisfaction, as if they had traveled back to their younger days, when they couldn’t afford more than one bowl of noodles and would fight over it as if it were a life-or-death matter.

With their hunger satisfied, Song Xiaoni appeared more relaxed, though her gaze still wandered aimlessly. Even as Li Te tried to crack jokes and tease her, she barely responded. She had retracted her sharp claws, but the desolation in her demeanor was undeniable. Watching her like this saddened Li Te deeply. He couldn’t fathom what kind of pain had caused her unhappiness. His heart ached with curiosity and compassion, yet he knew better than to pry. If Song Xiaoni didn’t want to talk, trying to force it out of her was pointless.

Besides, these were private matters between a husband and wife. Couples argue at the head of the bed and make peace at its foot-outsiders shouldn’t interfere. What might have been a simple dispute could only become messier with interference. This was something Li Te understood well and had always adhered to. If he hadn’t, given the kind of person Shi Zijun was, he’d have long been kicked out of this city.

As Li Te busied himself greeting other customers while intermittently chatting with her, Song Xiaoni pursed her lips, muttered a quick goodbye, and walked out the door.

Alone, without any aim or purpose, she wandered the streets, feeling adrift. This wasn’t the state of mind she wanted, but she couldn’t shake it off.

Her steps unexpectedly came to a halt in front of an office building. Almost instinctively, she approached the building, gazing with a faint intensity at a job advertisement posted there.

On her way back, she decided against taking a taxi.

The reason? Her eyes had landed on a long-lost acquaintance-a massive city bus painted with a kaleidoscope of advertisements. As the bus wobbled and swayed, its movements seemed to mirror her emotions, stirring something hazy within her.

She thought back to the days right after her graduation. She and Li Te had shared a small rented apartment back then, always rushing around in the mornings. The two of them would run like mad to catch the bus, huffing and sweating, squeezing into the overcrowded space. They used to joke that squeezing onto a bus was a kind of comprehensive workout, incorporating elements of martial arts, yoga, judo, and balance beam exercises. It was high-level stuff, they’d laugh, though the experience often left her feeling shaky and nauseous. She would dream of the day when she’d have a car of her own, no longer needing to sprint for the bus, no longer crammed like a sardine into that small space, enduring the stifling mix of smells.

But now? She rode in a luxurious car of her own wherever she went, surrounded by attendants ready to cater to her every need. Yet why did she feel so lost, as though she had lost touch with herself?

Daytime didn’t bring many passengers onto the bus, especially since her current residence was in a wealthy area, quite a distance from the bustling city center. Eventually, no more than two or three people remained in the bus, scattered and quiet, amplifying an almost dreamlike sensation.

She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She couldn’t tell if she was being greedy or if, as Li Te had said, she simply didn’t know how lucky she already was.

Getting off the bus, she found herself still a long way from Shi Zijun’s house. After all, buses didn’t operate in the wealthy area. She chose not to hail a cab but instead walked slowly back, step by step.

Almost unconsciously, she glanced at her phone. Everything was eerily quiet. Over the past two days, aside from a single phone call from Li Te in the morning, there had been no other contact. No one had reached out to her-not even Shi Zijun, who used to call her incessantly. Compared to his past affection and enthusiasm, this level of coldness was extraordinary.

She sighed deeply, clutching her phone, her expression one of unmistakable hurt.

After more than half an hour of walking, she finally reached the gate. Her legs felt sore, and she couldn’t help but smirk. Was she really this weak now?

She had grown up as a village girl, accustomed to braving the elements. Since when had she become so delicate?

Pressing the doorbell, she walked in. Xu Wei stood at the entryway, waiting dutifully to greet her.

Still the same careful and deferential manner as always.

Song Xiaoni cast a quick glance at the living room but soon lowered her eyes and waved off Xu Wei’s offer to prepare tea or cut fruit for her.

Sinking onto the bed, she sat there for a moment, then pulled out her phone and made a call.

The phone rang for what felt like an eternity, but there was no answer. She kept dialing, her persistence on the verge of tears.

“What is it?”

“Zijun, come home for dinner tonight, okay?”

“I can’t. I have a dinner engagement.”

“Oh. Then can you come back a bit earlier? I miss you.”

“I’m busy. Let’s talk about it later.”

Before she could plead or pout, Shi Zijun hung up abruptly, leaving no room for negotiation or affection. The tears Song Xiaoni had held back so long finally started falling. What had just happened? She had taken the initiative to express her longing, to humble herself and beg-a blow to any woman’s pride-and yet this was the response she received. It wasn’t just anyone dismissing her; it was the very man who had once proclaimed he loved her more than life itself. The overwhelming grievance seemed only solvable through tears, a release she couldn’t control.

Why was she crying so much lately? She had always hated crying, priding herself on being strong. Was it because she had grown too sheltered, too soft under his care? Or had her tear glands suddenly become overly sensitive? She hated this weakness and despised herself for the pitiful sight she’d become-eyes blurred with tears, filled with frustration.

She didn’t see herself as pitiful. She really wasn’t. Many people would give anything to live the life she had now. By all accounts, she should’ve been so happy that joy bubbled up around her like champagne. What right did she have to cry? What was there to feel wronged about?

Yet the more she tried to convince herself of this, the more the tears kept coming. She cried her heart out, thoroughly and completely, until Xu Wei knocked on the door to tell her dinner was ready.

“I’m not hungry. I’m not eating,” she said calmly, her voice muffled as she faced away from the door.

But she didn’t hear the sound of Xu Wei leaving, which made her turn her head to look back.

Xu Wei stubbornly stood at the door, refusing to leave. It was her determined expression that made Song Xiaoni realize she wanted Song Xiaoni to eat. Seeing Xu Wei’s panicked and cautious face, she knew it was wrong to have scolded her so harshly yesterday. She had unfairly lashed out in her anger, affecting an innocent person, and deeply regretted it. However, her current mood was far from good, too preoccupied with her own problems to offer comfort or apology to anyone else. The timing for apologies felt off, so she silently went downstairs. She didn’t want her own sour mood to further trouble this girl, who was already not having an easy life. In some ways, she greatly admired Xu Wei for being able to shoulder all of life’s burdens alone and face all adversities with equanimity. She barely managed to eat a few bites of her dinner, tasteless despite being her favorite dishes.

Back in her bedroom, she sat in front of the computer, listlessly playing video games. During a break, she casually updated her microblog with a playful post about feeling down and jokingly asking for someone to take care of her, attaching a provocative photo of herself showing off her bare shoulders. Unexpectedly, this post immediately attracted relentless shares from thrill-seekers, followed by a flood of comments. Some were urging to take care of her, others were chastising her for lacking modesty, while many just added various emojis to enjoy the drama. Of course, some even left their contact details, hoping for a romantic rendezvous. Overwhelmed and on the verge of tears by the unexpected attention, she was not one to seek the limelight or pretend to be a desirably mysterious woman of the modern age. Watching the escalating shares and comments, she lightly tapped her screen and deleted the microblog post.

Indeed, this world is too boring, filled with too many idle people. If only they could find something meaningful to do, like Comrade Xu Sanduo², who understood that life must be lived with purpose. Why couldn’t they just mind their own business? Song Xiaoni thought this angrily.

She glanced at her phone lying silent beside her and, finding no new notifications, reopened the game page. Though she seemed fully engaged, her entire focus was on the door outside, listening for Shi Zijun’s arrival. She maintained this posture until nearly midnight.

Hearing the sound of a car, she dashed out like a shot, racing down the stairs. Just as she reached the bottom, she saw his attractive female assistant, Wen Xue, helping a drunken Shi Zijun inside. She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and resting her small head in the crook of his shoulder.

Footnote:

1. Zhajiangmian(炸酱面):Zhajiangmian is a Chinese noodle dish topped with a savory soybean paste sauce, often mixed with minced pork or beef and served with a variety of fresh vegetables.
2. Xu Sanduo(许三多):Xu Sanduo is a character from the Chinese television series “Soldiers Sortie ” (士兵突击). He is known for his determination and belief in living a purposeful life, often inspiring others with his dedication and work ethic.