After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me

Once everyone had left, the expansive office was left with just Song Yu and me.

He remained silent, forcing me to break the quiet first. “How do you explain Lu’s situation?”

Song Yu chuckled lightly, leaning back in his chair, and said nonchalantly, “What do you want me to explain?”

“You… you promised that if I waited a month, I’d be able to see Lu. How can you go back on your word?”

Song Yu didn’t answer directly. Instead, he picked up a pack of cigarettes from the desk, pulled one out, and lit it, taking a deep drag as if contemplating something.

This wasn’t typical of his usual behavior.

Previously, if I spoke to him like this, he’d definitely remind me of my place and subtly pressure me into submission.

This time, he surprisingly didn’t lose his temper.

But the calmer he was, the more anxious I felt.

“I only found out about Fan Lu this morning. As for an explanation, I don’t see why I need to explain anything to you. The police are following standard procedures.”

“This isn’t something I can control,” Song Yu stated calmly, as if discussing what to have for afternoon tea.

“You!” His words nearly took my breath away.

Yet after a brief moment of anger, I analyzed the situation calmly. Although Lu had been given a suspended sentence and sent back to Guiyang for supervision, he was still under the shadow of his crime. I couldn’t afford to fall out with Song Yu now, as I might need his help in the future.

“President Song, I just want to see Lu, to know how he’s doing. I have no other intentions.” I tried to keep my tone even, sincerely pleading with Song Yu, hoping for a glimmer of hope.

“He’s already back in Guiyang. How can you see him? Besides, even if you want to see him, he might not want to see you,” Song Yu said casually, exhaling a puff of smoke.

“Lu? Not want to see me? That’s impossible,” I said, slightly amused by Song Yu’s words, which seemed absurd.

Song Yu’s lips curled into a disdainful smirk, his expression full of contempt, as if mocking my naivety.

Suddenly, I realized things might not be as simple as they seemed.

“What did you say to Lu?” I asked, my face turning cold.

“What he wanted to know,” Song Yu replied, looking at me with a straightforward expression. “Like why you’re working for me, what your job entails, including how you achieved those impressive results.”

My heart clenched tightly, the color draining from my face.

I had thought Song Yu might tell Lu about our relationship, which Lu already knew about, so I wasn’t worried. At worst, he’d think I had misplaced my trust. But I never imagined Song Yu would tell Lu about my past of selling myself for money.

In Lu’s eyes, I was pure and untainted, like a beacon of light, unblemished by any impurities. Now, knowing I had been secretly involved in such sordid affairs for money, how would he view me?

He must be utterly disappointed.

He must utterly despise me.

He might not even want to see me anymore.

…Not want to see me anymore?

My head buzzed, my legs felt weak, and my body seemed to be dragged down by a heavy weight. The scene in front of me flickered in and out of focus, and I had no idea what would happen next…

I felt like I was falling, continuously, until I finally lay still, nestled in a familiar softness.

It was as if someone had been calling my name, from a distant echo to a clear voice.

Struggling to open my eyes, I found myself lying in Lu’s bedroom, with sounds of cooking emanating from the kitchen and Lu muttering my name.

“Bai Yu, stop sleeping, get up and eat.”

I thought about why I was at Lu’s place and didn’t respond to him.

Then Lu leaned against the doorframe, teasing me, “Young master, it’s time to dine. We’ll be late for the Royal Dynasty if we don’t hurry.”

I stared at Lu, unable to snap out of my daze.

Seeing that I hadn’t moved, Lu walked over, pulled me up from the bed, and dragged me toward the living room: “Come on, young master, if we dally any longer, we’ll indeed be late.”

“Lu!” I suddenly called out his name.

“What’s up?” Lu turned to look at me.

My eyes instantly misted over. It was really Lu, talking to me.

Suddenly, I hugged Lu tightly, burying my face in his chest and choking back tears, “Lu, it really is you. I thought I might never see you again.”

Lu paused for a moment, then wrapped his arms around me, his palm gently stroking my back, soothingly saying, “Silly, I’m right here, aren’t I?”

I stepped back from Lu’s embrace, tears streaming down my face, “I’m sorry, Lu, I’ve hidden so much from you, you must be disgusted with me.”

“I don’t deserve your affection, nor your sacrifices for me. It’s my fault, I deceived you.”

“I’m sorry, Lu…”

“Sorry, sorry…” I repeated my apologies to Lu over and over.

I didn’t know why, but upon seeing Lu, my tears just wouldn’t stop, and I was sobbing uncontrollably.

If I had been honest with Lu sooner about who I really was, maybe he wouldn’t have fallen for me wrongfully, nor would he have been sentenced for me.

It was all my fault.

Lu cupped my cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the tears on my face, and said earnestly and affectionately, “Bai Yu, I have never disliked you, nor have I ever blamed you. You have always been the one in my heart.”

Hearing his words, I cried even harder, whimpering.

Lu’s eyes reddened as he gazed deeply at me, and suddenly he said, “Bai Yu, don’t cry, don’t be afraid. Even if we can’t see each other in the future, my heart will always stay by your side to protect you, in life and in death.”

Hearing Lu’s words, my crying stopped abruptly, a foreboding feeling overwhelming me. Just as I was about to say something, Lu’s body gradually became translucent and then completely vanished before my eyes.

“Lu! Lu! Lu!” I reached out in the air, desperately trying to grasp at something.

Almost instantly, I abruptly opened my eyes.

Beep beep beep-

The sound of the heart monitor reached my ears.

I moved my eyes slightly, first seeing the white ceiling, then taking in the surroundings. If it weren’t for the needle in my hand and the medical equipment by the bed, I might have thought I was lying in a presidential suite at some upscale hotel.

“Awake?” A voice that made my heart tremble.

Following the voice, I saw Song Yu sitting on the sofa, smiling at me.

“Where am I? How did I get here?” My throat was dry, and my words came out unclear.

Song Yu got up and poured a glass of water at the bar, then walked towards me. “This is my private hospital. You fainted.”

“Fainted?” I tried to recall the scene at the time; it seemed to be the case.

“The doctor said you had a stress-induced shock and coma,” Song Yu said as he reached the bedside, then picked up the remote control and pressed it, causing the head of the bed to slowly rise.

“Drink some water.” He handed me the glass.

I stared at the glass, murmuring, “I dreamed of Lu.”

Song Yu’s hand paused slightly while holding the glass. “What did you dream about him?”

I shook my head, looking forlorn. “Nothing much, just dreaming about when we used to work together at Royal Dynasty.”

Song Yu sat beside me, offering the glass in his hand. “Stop overthinking. Just drink some water first.”

I took the glass and sipped a little, feeling a slight relief in my dry throat.

“Song Yu, why did you tell Lu those things? What good does it do you to ruin me?” I looked at him, my gaze indifferent and distant.

Song Yu replied nonchalantly, “I just told him what he wanted to know.”

I scoffed, nodding, then asked, “When will Lu’s record be cleared after he returns to Guiyang?”

“That depends on your work capability,” Song Yu replied with a faint smile.

“So after all this, what exactly do you want me to do?” I asked, eyeing Song Yu warily.

“You don’t need to be nervous. Just do your job,” Song Yu said, smiling politely, yet there was something unsettling about it.

“Just… that simple?” I looked at Song Yu, not quite believing him.

“Just that simple.”

I thought for a moment and said firmly, “Then I’ll return to work at Huanya tomorrow.”

Song Yu smiled and agreed.

—

A month of recovery

My lower body had healed, except for occasional stomach discomfort, and I felt relatively energetic.

I tried to contact Lu, but there was no response.

I was puzzled because Lu was supposed to be under external supervision, which shouldn’t restrict his communication freedom. Yet, his phone, WeChat, and all the social media we used together were unreachable.

I also reached out to Zhang Chenyang and others, but the answers were consistent.

Lu seemed to have vanished from my life, completely disappearing.

Could it be that he was truly disappointed in me, disgusted by me, and that’s why he wanted to cut off contact?

The more I thought about it, the more my heart ached, and the more I regretted it. My heart was filled with pain, and for a long time, I was lost in a decadent lifestyle.

Even though Lu didn’t want to talk to me anymore, I felt an undeniable responsibility for his current situation, so I did my utmost to work for Song Yu, hoping to clear Lu’s record as soon as possible.

In fact, doing this had another benefit: it numbed me, because I suddenly felt as if I had lost direction and purpose in life, and only indulgence could give me a moment of release and relief.

It was three in the morning, and I had just gotten out of a taxi when I sent Song Yu a message on WeChat, telling him I wouldn’t be able to go to work tomorrow.

I had been accompanying Director Sun from the electric company for three days straight, and today, after finally wrapping things up, I just wanted to rest at home for a day.

At the open-air hot spring party, the old man was indiscriminate with men and women, and I was just a neglected background, barely managing to keep my dignity intact.