After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me

I stared at the small red dot, dazed, before finally realizing, “Is that a camera?”

Song Yu chuckled, neither confirming nor denying.

“Are you spying on me?” I asked, my face darkening as I scrambled up from the bed.

“I just prefer to add a sense of security to the areas where I live,” Song Yu replied matter-of-factly.

His words made my head buzz with shock. If that really was a camera, then all those intense moments between Song Yu and me had been recorded?

A chill ran down my spine.

“How many… of those videos do you have?” I asked, my voice trembling with each word.

Song Yu walked over to me, his tone casual and indifferent, “Relax, if I wanted to threaten you, I have a hundred ways to do it, but this wouldn’t be one of them.”

His assurance allowed me to breathe a little easier.

Song Yu sat down on the edge of my bed, his gaze gentle, “Is your stomach feeling better? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

I shook my head, “I’m fine.”

Song Yu watched me for a moment, nodding thoughtfully, without any intention of leaving the room. The sudden quietness made me uncomfortable, especially after the intimate encounter we had last night. Though nothing serious happened, it still left me feeling too embarrassed to lift my head.

However, seeing that Song Yu seemed to be in a good mood, I carefully chose my words and asked, “President Song, when can I see Lu again?”

Afraid that Song Yu might think I was going back on my word, I quickly added, “I know I promised you I wouldn’t see him again, but Lu is about to be sent back to Guiyang. I just want to see him one more time before he leaves, is that okay?”

Song Yu’s expression darkened slightly, “Visitation requires going through procedures and approvals. It’s not just whenever you want.”

I sensed the displeasure in Song Yu’s tone, but I pressed on, “Then when can it be approved again? I’m really worried about him, and I want to make sure he’s doing okay in there.”

Song Yu glanced at me, expressionless, “When he’s sent back to his hometown, maybe you’ll get to see him.”

“When will Lu be sent back to Guiyang?” I asked eagerly.

“Once the paperwork is done, probably in about a month.”

I bit my lip, pondering silently. If what Song Yu said was true, then Lu would have to stay in the detention center for another month before being transferred back to Guiyang for probation.

The thought made my heart ache.

If it weren’t for my youthful impulsiveness, Lu wouldn’t have gotten involved in hurting Song Yu for my sake, ending up in this situation.

But what’s done is done. I can only try to minimize the damage, at least find a way to get Song Yu to erase Lu’s criminal record.

Song Yu noticed my constant sighing and scoffed, “Are you really that worried about him?”

His indifferent tone irked me, and I retorted with a cold face, “You wouldn’t understand what it’s like to risk everything, even your life, for…” I stumbled, unsure how to define my relationship with Lu.

Friends? But who would go to such lengths for a friend? Lovers? Our relationship was only confirmed during those brief days in the hospital.

“What is it that I don’t have?” Song Yu raised an eyebrow.

After a few seconds of struggle, I continued, “You wouldn’t understand what it’s like to risk everything for a lover. That’s why you can’t grasp my feelings.”

Even though nothing ever happened between Lu and me, we only claimed to be lovers in words, I had always considered him as the person to share my life’s ups and downs. Most importantly, Lu was imprisoned because of me. If I couldn’t even give him a proper title, I’d be a terrible person.

Song Yu pushed his glasses with his middle finger, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes playing at his lips.

After a moment, he said, “If he’s your lover, then what was last night’s tearful pleas at the window all about?”

“Or is your cherished relationship just a facade?”

His words slapped me hard across the face, stinging painfully, but they also woke me up to reality.

Shame flooded through me, leaving me feeling utterly exposed.

I felt like one of those fickle, unprincipled people in the social circles, devoid of any self-respect or dignity.

“…I’m not worthy of Lu.” I didn’t defend myself; I admitted to being a jerk.

I expected Song Yu to continue mocking me or say something to humiliate me, but he just stared at me, the teasing in his eyes replaced by a cold, inscrutable look.

I turned my head away, unable to meet his gaze, my palms sweating profusely. Although I hadn’t done anything wrong, Song Yu’s scrutinizing gaze always made me nervous.

We were only an elbow’s distance apart, our breaths mingling in the air. After several tense seconds, Song Yu stood up and left the room without a word.

Knowing Song Yu, I realized he was probably angry, very angry.

But I couldn’t understand why. He mocked my feelings as worthless, accused me of entangling with another man behind Lu’s back, and I accepted all of it.

Because it’s true-I don’t deserve Lu. But that doesn’t negate the fact that Lu is my lover in my heart.

That’s undeniable.

So no matter how much Song Yu despises me, disgusts me, or says worse things, I don’t care. As long as I can get Lu out and clear his record, I’ll endure whatever Song Yu says or does.

–

Since that day, Song Yu hasn’t returned, nor has he called. It’s not a bad thing for me, at least it reduces the awkwardness of being alone with him.

But I know that even if he hasn’t returned, he’s aware of my every move, considering the house might be filled with surveillance cameras.

Yet I don’t care. I just want to wait peacefully for a month to see Lu, to watch him board the car back to Guiyang, and finally be at ease.

Because serving a sentence outside prison doesn’t require confinement, although Lu can’t leave Guiyang during his sentence, his life is at least free, which is a very light punishment.

Everything seemed to be proceeding smoothly, with no major changes. The only thing that bothered me was that my stomach aches were becoming more frequent, and any slight dietary indiscretion would leave me feeling bloated and uncomfortable. The omeprazole was becoming less effective; what used to be alleviated by one or two pills now required four or five with little relief.

I was likely developing a resistance to the medication, so I needed to find time to visit the hospital and have the doctor adjust my prescription.

I counted the days on my fingers, and on the twenty-ninth day, I took the initiative to call Song Yu.

Just as the dial tone was about to end, Song Yu answered the phone.

“Hello.” A single word, yet it carried a commanding presence.

I instinctively swallowed, “President Song!”

“What is it?”

“…Tomorrow marks one month.” I didn’t explicitly state my intention, but Song Yu surely knew what I was referring to.

After a few seconds, Song Yu spoke slowly, “Lu has already left.”

My mind was sluggish for a moment before I realized, “…Left? When did he leave? Why didn’t you tell me? You knew I was waiting for today.”

“Song Yu, you did this on purpose, didn’t you? You… you…” I was so angry that my lips trembled, unable to finish my sentence.

“I just found out,” Song Yu replied indifferently.

“Do you think I’ll believe that? Song Yu, you’re… you’re despicable!” I gasped, nearly grinding my teeth to dust as I forced out the words.

I knew the calm of these past days was not a good sign; something unexpected had indeed happened.

“Think what you want.” Song Yu left me with that and hung up.

“Hello! Hello!” I shouted into the phone, but all I got was a busy signal.

The pent-up emotions nearly overwhelmed my mind. I had been humble, cautious, and eager to please, like a subordinate, afraid to anger Song Yu.

And now, just as the day was approaching, he tells me Lu has already left!?

What a joke.

I had to find Song Yu and get to the bottom of this.

I changed my clothes and asked Aunt Zhang to call a taxi for me. Once in the car, I directed it to the Huanya Building.

Even though I didn’t have my work ID, the security at the entrance recognized me and let me in with a nod. It was 10 a.m., and Song Yu should have finished his morning meeting by now.

I took the elevator straight to the president’s office area and headed directly to Song Yu’s office.

After knocking symbolically three times, I pushed open the door to Song Yu’s office. Normally, I wouldn’t have dared to do such a thing, but my mind was consumed with anger at Song Yu for deceiving me and making me wait a month without seeing Lu. This anger had driven me to act without considering the consequences.

As I opened the door, the vice presidents and regional managers from various departments all turned their eyes on me, and I froze, only then realizing that today was the monthly financial report meeting.

But I was already standing there, too embarrassed to advance or retreat.

Seeing this, Lisa quickly stepped forward and frowned, “Mr. Bai, what are you doing? If you have something to discuss, wait until I return to the Public Relations Department.”

I knew Lisa was giving me an out, but I had no intention of leaving.

Holding my breath, my clenched palms slightly sweaty, I maintained an unusually calm face, “Sorry, Lisa, I’m here to see President Song.”

As soon as I spoke, a faint stir rippled through the room.

Song Yu, sitting behind his desk with his hands supporting his chin, his deep, dark eyes narrowing behind his glasses, smiled and gestured to everyone, “You all can leave now.”