After I Was Gone, Mr. Song Said He Loved Me

Song Yu carried me back to his bedroom and laid me down on the bed. For some reason, every time I am alone in this room with him, my heart starts to race uncontrollably.

This room holds memories of our past madness-whispering in each other’s ears, tears mingling with sweat, from the dark night until dawn, and then falling asleep in each other’s embrace.

Just thinking about these scenes makes my mouth dry and my face flush with embarrassment.

Seeing me fidgeting, Song Yu asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Ah? Oh! Nothing… How’s your hand?”

It was proper to maintain some distance, but politeness was still necessary.

Song Yu unfolded his palm to inspect it and said casually, “The wound might have reopened, but it’s nothing serious.”

“Should we go to the hospital?” Although I hadn’t seen the injury on Song Yu’s hand myself, just imagining him gripping a knife blade with his palm made me shiver.

It must be so painful.

“It’s fine.” Song Yu closed his hand again, seemingly not considering it a big deal, so I didn’t ask further.

At that moment, Song Yu walked over to the wardrobe and began undressing naturally.

I hurriedly looked away, my fingers tightly clutching the bedsheet, my breathing erratic, rising and falling uncontrollably.

After changing, Song Yu walked towards me and handed me a set of pajamas I had worn before. I knew once I entered this room tonight, there was no leaving. Instead of being awkward, it was better to be straightforward and appear more composed.

After pondering for a moment, I expressionlessly took the ivory white silk robe from him. Under Song Yu’s intense gaze, I began to strip off my clothes and pants, until I was left in only a pair of white boxer briefs.

Just as I was about to put on the robe, Song Yu suddenly grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

I looked up at him, annoyance flickering in my eyes, but my tone remained polite: “What are you doing?”

“It’s time to change your dressing.” His voice was calm, as if it was the most natural thing to say.

My cheeks heated up almost instantly.

“I can do it myself.” I pulled my hand back, quickly donned the robe, and stood up to walk towards the bathroom. Then it occurred to me-I had been taken out of the hospital by Song Yu early in the morning and hadn’t taken any medicine with me. How was I supposed to change the dressing?

“The medicine is with me.” Song Yu’s lazy voice came from behind me.

I turned around to see him holding a tube of ointment and a box of suppositories-medications that the nurses had used daily to treat my wounds during my hospital stay. It seemed he had gotten them when he handled my discharge from the hospital.

I walked swiftly towards him, snatched the medicine from his hand, and turned towards the bathroom, eager to hide my flustered state.

Upon entering the bathroom, I clumsily attempted to irrigate my wound with the irrigator and hydrogen peroxide I had left here from a previous injury. This time, however, was not like the last; any slight misstep with the hose could brush against my stitched wound.

I kept adjusting my position, gingerly going deeper, fearing I might break the stitches. Eventually, having squatted for too long, my legs went numb, and I collapsed onto the floor with a thud. Not only did I fail to clean the wound, but I nearly knocked my soul out of my body.

As I struggled to rise from the floor, whimpering, a pair of white slippers stopped in front of me.

Looking up, Song Yu was gazing down at me, observing my pitiful state.

“You’re asking for pain,” he said, bending over to lift me from the floor.

Frowning, both angry and embarrassed, but acknowledging my limitations, I let him assist me with cleaning and dressing the wound. After all, my health was at stake, and I wasn’t foolish enough to risk it over a quarrel with him.

Song Yu carried me to a soft mat beside the bathtub. Embarrassed, I knelt down, clutching the edge of the tub, my back straight and tense, like a prisoner about to be beheaded.

First, Song Yu wrapped his arm around my waist, then slowly moved his hand downward. The areas he touched felt as if they had been seared by a hot iron, as if they would burst into flames at any moment.

My fingers dug tightly into the wall, my arms tense, muscles clearly defined, as I gasped out breaths, heavy and disordered.

Eventually, I couldn’t stand it any longer and hoarsely urged, “Hurry up.”

Song Yu calmly mixed the hydrogen peroxide, then took the hose and slowly inserted it. Although he didn’t touch the inner wound, I still broke out in a cold sweat from the pain.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

Not wanting to appear weak, I gritted my teeth and shook my head.

His movements became even gentler. The cool hydrogen peroxide entered, seemingly sweeping away the burning pain around my tailbone.

I let out a sigh of relief, my body somewhat relaxed.

After several rounds of cleaning and disinfecting, Song Yu dried the area around the wound and slowly inserted an anti-inflammatory suppository.

I braced myself for severe pain, but Song Yu’s touch was even gentler than a nurse’s, making the dressing change far less painful than expected.

He helped me up, and I stood, walking silently towards the bedroom.

I felt quite poised, but then I heard a soft chuckle behind me.

I stopped and turned around. Song Yu was watching me with a smile, his expression amused.

“What are you laughing at?” I asked coldly.

He pushed his glasses up on his nose and clicked his tongue lightly, “Laughing at your childishness.” Then he added, “But you are only 20, indeed still a child.”

I hated being treated like a child by Song Yu. Without thinking, I retorted, “Oh, so you’ve been sleeping with a child all this time, aren’t you ashamed?”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized I had misspoken.

True to form, Song Yu first paused, then burst out laughing.

His laughter left me feeling both angry and embarrassed; I turned and headed for the bedroom.

Song Yu didn’t follow; instead, he stayed in the bathroom to shower.

Back in bed, I mulled over Song Yu’s unusual behavior that evening. Normally, he hardly engaged in such pointless acts.

What with accompanying me to meals and asking me to join him at work, these things simply didn’t exist before.

Previously, our encounters would escalate quickly, usually ending with me passing out and him leaving the next day.

Where did all these seemingly tender moments come from?

As I was still trying to make sense of everything, Song Yu emerged from the bathroom, towel-drying his damp hair.

Instinctively, I shifted further to the edge of the bed, nearly teetering off the side.

Song Yu smirked, turned off the room light, and walked straight towards me.

I clutched the bed sheets tightly, turning my back to him, trying to maintain some distance.

Suddenly, the bed dipped on his side, and my heart leaped into my throat, my lashes fluttering nervously.

“Move closer,” he commanded, leaving no room for negotiation.

I kept my eyes shut tight, ignoring his words.

“Childish temper,” he chuckled softly again.

His repeated mockery ignited my anger. I turned to face Song Yu in the darkness, retorting, “Yes, I’m just a kid. Apart from a pretty face that’s worth nothing, I have no other qualities. But men seem to love that, don’t they?”

“They’re all eager to sleep with me. I should thank President Song for crafting me into a fresh-faced college student. With this identity, my phone contacts have grown by pages.”

“Even if I change partners every day, I’d be booked for three years!”

After venting, I felt a fleeting sense of satisfaction, but it quickly waned.

The reason was simple: Song Yu’s hawk-like eyes were fixed intently on me.

Initially, it wasn’t clear, but now, under the moonlight streaming through the window, it felt even more chilling.

My mouth went dry with nervousness, and I swallowed hard. “Um… it’s late, let’s get some sleep… ah-”

Before I could finish, a strong force pulled me over.

Song Yu pinned me down partially, his voice cold, “You’ve messed yourself up like this and still haven’t learned.”

I struggled but to no avail, eventually resigning myself to lying still.

I looked directly up at Song Yu, earnestly pleading, “Song Yu, can you stop playing these ambiguous games with me?”

“You clearly don’t like me, so why do you keep doing things that make me misunderstand, saying things that confuse me? Is it just because I’m young and naive that I deserve to be toyed with?”

“I feel pain too!” I pointed to my heart, speaking slowly and deliberately, “Here, it hurts, it really hurts!”

“I’ve already lost part of my intestine; isn’t that enough? Do you have to play me to death to be satisfied?”

“I’m begging you, Song Yu, if you have any conscience left, please don’t let me hold onto false hopes, okay?”

Song Yu stared deeply at me, saying nothing, yet I caught a glimpse of shock and confusion in his eyes.

The next moment, he withdrew from me, sat at the edge of the bed, and lit a cigarette.

I breathed a sigh of relief, my palms sweaty.

Those words had been on my mind for a long time, but I never had the chance to say them.

I consider myself not the clingy type-I can love deeply and leave gracefully.

Since Song Yu has clearly told me he doesn’t like me, I won’t continue to cling to him, no matter how much I like him. I’ll bury those feelings deep inside.

I won’t do anything that makes things awkward for everyone.

But his subtle teasing makes it impossible for me to stay calm, so I had to lay it all out, for everyone’s sake.

“Bai Yu, you said you like me?” Song Yu suddenly asked.

“…Yes!” After a few seconds of silence, I replied firmly.

The man chuckled lowly, the glowing cigarette tip flickering in the darkness, starkly visible…