A Guide to Wasting Life - Chapter 7

The mix of unexpected joy and lingering shyness left Xu Nianzhu torn. On one hand, she wanted to hold on to this moment, but on the other, she felt their current closeness was overly intimate.

But… hadn’t they crossed even more boundaries before?

Xu Nianzhu held her breath and finished speaking. Rising from Zhou Qi’s shoulder, she slowly opened her eyes. When she saw him kneeling on one knee, she jolted in surprise and leapt away from him, frantically motioning for him to stand up.

This feels a bit formal, she thought, her muddled brain considering whether she should kneel in response.

Zhou Qi, seeing her startled expression and the faint red gathering at the corner of her pitiable eyes, couldn’t bring himself to ask what had just happened. Instead, he carefully folded a tissue and handed it to her. After a moment of hesitation, he reached out to gently rub the back of her head before bending down to pick up the paper bag on the floor and placing it on the table.

The table was positioned beneath the air conditioning vent. Zhou Qi frowned as he raised his hand to test the airflow. With an amused yet exasperated expression, he said, “You’ve got the AC cranked down to eighteen degrees, haven’t you?” No wonder her exposed arms had felt so cold earlier.

“Re-really?”

Perhaps Zhou Qi’s calm demeanor reassured her. Xu Nianzhu didn’t feel quite as uncomfortable anymore. She rubbed her stiff face, walked to the bedside to grab her phone, and glanced at the display before reaching up to adjust the settings.

-Beep.

Feigning innocence, she exchanged a glance with Zhou Qi, then quickly pressed the up button a few more times, as if to cover her tracks.

“Nineteen degrees,” Zhou Qi concluded with deliberate slowness as he started unpacking the food containers.

“That’s nothing. At home, I usually set it to sixteen and eat popsicles…” Xu Nianzhu’s voice trailed off as someone’s expression grew darker.

But then, a thought struck her, and she said with newfound confidence, “And who exactly are you to tell me what to do in the first place?”

The words left her mouth, and she immediately regretted them. She pursed her lips and nudged the side of the bed with her foot.

Why did I bring that up now?

Zhou Qi didn’t notice the fleeting regret on her face; he only heard her last sentence. He paused what he was doing, turned to face her, and after a brief silence, spoke: “Whoever you want me to be, I’ll gladly be.”

Standing there obediently, he looked as if he were asking for a title, which made Xu Nianzhu blush. She averted her gaze, her heart thundering audibly: “…Just definitely not my dad.”

She suddenly felt a pang of hesitation, a clarity that scared her. She was afraid of repeating past mistakes, afraid of burdening someone with a relationship so close that losing them would become unbearable.

So, she chose to evade it for now.

Things were fine the way they were.

He stayed, and she savored this present moment of happiness and contentment. Perhaps they could spend a few enjoyable days together, reveling in the light and carefree atmosphere. No expectations, no constraints-when the trip ended, they could part ways without regrets or maybe meet again if fate allowed.

Zhou Qi didn’t seem to expect her response. He paused briefly, trying to interpret the underlying meaning behind her joking tone. But showing his usual sense of tacit understanding, he didn’t press further. Instead, he kept his gentle smile and beckoned her to eat.

His emotions seemed stable-calm and unwavering.

It felt like a soothing balm, steadying her heart, which was on the verge of splitting itself open to bare everything to him.

“You treat someone you’ve only met a few times-” Xu Nianzhu blurted out suddenly, wanting to know the answer to this question. But she quickly hesitated, realizing the implication might be too pointed and even impolite. She adjusted her phrasing mid-sentence, “I mean, do you treat people you’ve only met a few times this well?”

Hearing the deliberate emphasis on “well” and noting the word she had changed, Zhou Qi narrowed his eyes slightly.

He already knew what she meant without her fully spelling it out. But he took his time with his response, likely because this was the first time anyone had asked him such a question.

“No.” He opted to answer plainly, his tone sincere.

She opened her mouth to speak again, but before asking, “You-”

“I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

Xu Nianzhu froze at his uncanny reply, spoken as if he had read her mind. Almost reflexively, she murmured in a tiny voice, “Then how could you claim you’d teach me?”

Fractured memories flashed through her mind, snippets of him using his low, coaxing voice to gently guide her. He really hasn’t had a girlfriend? Hidden under her hair, the shell of her ear began to burn. A little spark of happiness welled up inside her, but her face pretended to be tough and defiant. Every sense in her body seemed to be reacting differently-it made her feel clumsily out of sync, unreasonably self-conscious.

Zhou Qi heard her faint protest and chuckled softly. “Then maybe next time, you can teach me.”

It was as though her entire body had been pushed into a pot about to boil over. In response to that single remark, her ears started roaring with bubbling, muffled heat, like water boiling furiously in a kettle.

After some time, she managed to calm herself. She raised her head, resolving to speak openly without holding back. “Actually, I’ve been in a relationship before.”

Zhou Qi raised his brows slightly, surprised for a moment, likely recalling her reaction the night before.

He stepped closer, leaning in slightly so their eyes were level.

“But nothing ever happened. Not even holding hands,” she quickly added, rushing to clarify since she assumed he might ask more. “It was… kind of a Platonic relationship, I guess. Or maybe not. It was both our fault.”

She wasn’t sure how the two of them had wandered into a topic that many people would consider delicate or even taboo. However, since the conversation had already reached this point, Xu Nianzhu felt obligated to share that piece of her emotional history with Zhou Qi-after all, it had been a real part of her life.

As for what had happened, Xu Nianzhu thought that now probably wasn’t the best time to bring it up. But if he wanted to know, then…

She bit her lower lip. Well, that would be fine too.

After a brief silence, Xu Nianzhu hesitantly asked, “Don’t you want to know anything?”

This question-

Zhou Qi immediately shook his head, amused by her directness. He didn’t seem like he’d have that kind of curiosity, right?

“Xu Nianzhu.” Seeing her hesitation, Zhou Qi called her name, his tone steady. “If it’s not right, don’t look back. Just be happy.”

He continued, “And to be honest-”

Xu Nianzhu suddenly looked up, her dark eyes shining, her heart skipping a beat.

“To be honest, I don’t think now is really the best time to talk about this.” Zhou Qi spoke with a seemingly casual tone, then followed with a helpless smile.

It seemed they both agreed it wasn’t appropriate. Xu Nianzhu nodded in agreement.

In truth, nearly five years had passed. Even if he were to ask her now, she could barely recall the specifics.

It had been her sophomore year in college when Xu Nianzhu had a three-month-long relationship. Back then, she had been passive and somewhat fearful of physical intimacy. When she had finally decided to take a step forward for the other person, unfortunately, they had chosen to cheat on her-and she had caught them in the act.

Perhaps emboldened by alcohol, he had recklessly blurted something in front of a crowd: “Dating someone avoidant is so damn exhausting. Three months together and she won’t even let you touch her. Everything you say has to tiptoe around her feelings.”

…

Years had passed since then. She had tried to overcome the barriers in her heart and thought there would never be any exceptions-but over the past few days, after meeting him, it seemed her heart could sense and beat again.

Yet the rarer something was, the more hesitant she became as she approached it. She didn’t know how to respond, torn between her emotions.

By the time Xu Nianzhu snapped out of her thoughts, she suddenly found herself seated at the table, gently nudged into her seat. She was now wearing a jacket draped over her shoulders and holding a pair of chopsticks and a spoon that Zhou Qi had warmed for her.

“Alright, eat first. Don’t overthink things,” he said, pulling the chair out for her.

Xu Nianzhu gave a soft murmur of agreement and worked to clear her mind of those odd thoughts.

It’s all in the past.

But when her eyes fell on the table in front of her, she froze, her thoughts halting. Without thinking, she reflexively mimicked the expression from a certain popular meme-a girl pointing to herself with wide-eyed disbelief.

Me? Huh?

Laid out on the table were three variations of Small Roll Noodles: stir-fried meat with green onions, minced mushrooms, and wood ear mushrooms with pork. Next to them were Yunnan Rice Noodles, Spicy Stir-fried Beef with Sauce, and a cup of jasmine milk tea-all arranged neatly and packed with care.

Zhou Qi chuckled as he nodded, then began opening the lids one by one.

The rich aroma of the sauce wafted through the air; good food is the best comfort for the soul.

“Should I give it my best shot?” Xu Nianzhu blinked. Even though she was so hungry she could eat a whole cow, finishing all this food would likely ruin her plans for the evening.

After a moment of contemplation, realizing she couldn’t hog everything, she pointed to the small fridge. “There are some desserts I bought yesterday inside. You should try them,” she suggested, but then changed her statement, “You absolutely must try them.”

During the day yesterday, she had walked from Children’s Alley to Zhongshan Road and then to Pingfeng Street, stopping along the way to shop. If it hadn’t been for her new shoes pinching her feet, she might have chosen to browse for a few more hours.

Hearing Xu Nianzhu’s words, Zhou Qi teased, “Then I really should thank those shoes; otherwise, I might not have seen you last night.”

Without the protection of alcohol, Xu Nianzhu felt a bit shy now, but being with him still felt easy and joyful. She let out an “ah,” picked up the frozen Portuguese egg tart from the table, and reached out to shove it into his mouth.

Zhou Qi managed to outsmart her. Taking advantage of her moment of distraction, he removed his glasses, leaned over the table, cupped her chin, and gently kissed her lips, barely teasing with his touch.

With a sense of freedom Xu Nianzhu had never seen in him before, he bent down and took a bite of the egg tart she was holding, slouching lazily back into his chair.

He tasted it, smiling as he said, “It’s really sweet.”

Everything felt incredibly sweet.

When she was sober, even a mere dragonfly skimming the surface could make Xu Nianzhu feel like she was swimming in warm water, an indescribable sensation flooding all her limbs and leaving her breathless. She instinctively curled her fingers, subconsciously licking her lips.

Xu Nianzhu’s face flushed, her gaze drifting. After a while, she picked up a noodle, pretending to be casual as she asked, “So, how many days are you planning to stay this time?”

Zhou Qi didn’t answer directly and tossed the question back at her. “What about you? How many days are you planning to hang out here?”

Xu Nianzhu shook her head. “I don’t know…”

Zhou Qi nodded in agreement. “Well, it’s a coincidence; I don’t know either.”

“Hey, doesn’t your advisor pressure you?” Xu Nianzhu was surprised by his answer but somehow felt he was in sync with her. “I felt like I was drowning in a sea of literature back then.”

Zhou Qi chuckled lightly. “Not really, there’s no rush.”

The air fell silent for a moment.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zhou Qi suddenly saw a small hand reaching from across the table, turning the chopsticks around to poke his hand lightly with the end.

“Didn’t you mention where you went to school before? I seem to have forgotten,” Xu Nianzhu said, her memory as fleeting as that of a goldfish.

Sure, he said it, but it’s no big deal.

Zhou Qi saw her confusion and became puzzled himself: “There shouldn’t be much, I forgot too. I’m in Jiang City.”

Upon hearing the name of the city, Xu Nianzhu’s eyes lit up instantly: “That’s my hometown!” Noticing Zhou Qi’s steady smile, she felt a twinge of anxiety. She scratched her neck and spoke with doubt: “I? I also said that?”

Her memory was really getting worse; not only had she forgotten what others had said, but she was also trampling on her own words underneath her feet.

“Not exactly,” Zhou Qi briefly recounted her story of drunkenly revealing her identity that day. When he mentioned she needed to keep her ID safe next time, he saw her pat her chest and mutter to herself: “Good thing I changed that horrible photo last month.”

This wandering train of thought gave Zhou Qi a headache.

He sighed, both helpless and amused, and tapped his fingers on the table, his face expressing the words ‘Be more mindful.’ After she savored the food and swallowed a piece of beef, he asked, “Are you going back? To Jiang City.”

Xu Nianzhu’s sparkling eyes dimmed a little; she instinctively shook her head but then nodded: “Maybe, but not for a long time.” She really wanted to become independent.

Zhou Qi caught the fleeting disappointment on her face and quickly changed the subject: “Is the noodles too salty? Do you want a glass of water?”

Xu Nianzhu broke into a bright smile and candidly shot back: “That was a really awkward change of topic; I’m not that easy to bring down.” As she spoke, she used a clean fork to scoop some untouched food into a box, pushing it toward him with a grin: “But we could try six, seven, eight, or even ten hits; maybe that would do the trick.”

Recently, a loneliness level chart had gone viral online. One night, her friend Wen Yi came back and passionately read it out loud in the dorm: “Level one, going to the supermarket alone; level two, eating alone at a restaurant; level three, watching a movie alone… level ten, going to the doctor alone. Oh my god, I feel like I can’t even handle one!”

At that time, what Xu Nianzhu thought was that if the surgery consent form hadn’t required a relative’s signature, she could have done it alone.

After finishing her thoughts in a nonchalant tone, she looked up to find Zhou Qi staring intently at her.

Noticing his unwavering gaze and her face without any bloomin’ flowers, Xu Nianzhu wrinkled her nose and dodged his eyes, peering under the table, looking for the right position to kick his leg, but he kept avoiding her attempts time after time. Hey, she wouldn’t back down, so she braced herself and pushed off hard from the sides of the chair.

But then, effortlessly, he caught her legs and pulled them together.

“……”

“Zhou Qi, are you five years old?” Xu Nianzhu couldn’t muster any strength and burst into laughter.

Seeing her pitiful expression, Zhou Qi chuckled, leaning back and causing her legs to sway gently from side to side as he said softly, “Then let’s just be children, as long as you’re happy and joyful.”